Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing about leaning into change and naming what you fear. Both of those steps matter—but they’re only the beginning. Once you make a change, once you face your fear, there’s still the question of how do you keep going?
That’s where momentum comes in.
Momentum is the quiet force that turns one good choice into another, one step into a stride, one workout into a routine. It’s what transforms effort into progress. And the beautiful thing about momentum is that it doesn’t require perfection—it just requires movement. It’s like a flywheel, hard to get started but once it gets spinning it creates its own energy and picks up speed.
Why Momentum Matters
Motivation comes and goes. Some days you feel fired up, other days you don’t. If you rely only on purely motivation, you’ll stall out the first time you hit a rough day. Momentum, though, is different. Momentum carries you forward even when motivation runs low.
Think of a train: it takes a lot of effort to get it moving at first. But once it’s rolling, it doesn’t take nearly as much energy to keep it going. That’s the power of momentum—it makes forward progress easier the longer you keep at it.
I think I can… I think I can…
Starting Small, Growing Steady
The hardest part of building momentum is starting. The first step always feels the heaviest. That first workout after a break. That first tracked meal after weeks of slipping. That first honest look at the scale.
I’ve felt that heaviness myself. After regaining some weight and losing accountability, I wanted to “fix it all at once.” But that pressure only made me stall more. What finally helped was shifting my focus to small steps.
For me, momentum has looked like:
Getting on my new bike even when I didn’t feel like it.
Riding the Peleton in the evening when my day has been too busy to fit in exercise.
Getting back into running.
Setting up my training plan for the Ghost Town Trail 50K next June.
Logging every single thing I eat into Calo AI
Choosing one healthier option in a day that otherwise felt messy.
Fasting from 7 PM to 7 AM – no food but sugar free beverages ok
Reminding myself that progress isn’t about perfect days—it’s about stacking wins.
Each action may seem small on its own, but stacked together, they create movement. And that movement builds momentum. In 23 days I’m down 7 pounds.
Momentum and Accountability
Momentum doesn’t just come from doing things—it also comes from not breaking the chain.
When I stay accountable—when I track honestly, when I move consistently, when I name the fears that try to derail me—I keep the streak alive. And with each day I stay on track, momentum gets stronger.
But here’s the other side: momentum can also work against you. A week of avoiding the scale, skipping workouts, or giving in to old habits builds momentum in the wrong direction. I’ve felt that too. That’s why it’s so important to notice early, interrupt the pattern, and start building momentum back in the right direction.
The truth is, momentum doesn’t care if it’s positive or negative. It will amplify whatever choices you feed it. That’s why being accountable—honest with yourself and willing to course-correct—matters so much.
How to Build Momentum
Here are a few things I’ve learned that help momentum build and stick:
Start smaller than you think. Don’t wait for the perfect plan or the perfect day. Do something today, even if it feels too small.
Stack wins. Each healthy choice builds on the last. Let them add up.
Protect the streak. Don’t let one missed day become a missed week. Reset quickly.
Celebrate progress. Momentum feels stronger when you acknowledge how far you’ve come, even if you’re not “there” yet.
The Takeaway
Momentum doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built, one honest choice at a time.
Lean into change. Name what you fear. Then take that first step—even if it’s small. Because once you do, you’ve started the process of building momentum. And that momentum will carry you further than motivation ever could.
Yes, I’ve stumbled. Yes, I’ve had seasons where momentum carried me the wrong direction. But now, I’m choosing to feed momentum with movement, accountability, and honesty.
So here’s my challenge: What’s one small step you can take today to start building momentum? Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today.
Because momentum doesn’t wait—it builds the moment you start.
In my last post, I wrote about leaning into change—how adding a new bike and switching to the Calo AI food tracker reminded me that progress lives on the other side of change. That reflection came at just the right time, because I’ve also had to face something else: fear.
Change and fear are often linked. Sometimes the reason we resist change isn’t because we’re lazy or unmotivated—it’s because we’re scared. Scared it won’t work. Scared we’ll fail. Scared of what others will think if we stumble.
And here’s the truth I’ve been learning: fear loses power when you name it.
All through the Harry Potter series everyone in the wizarding world is afraid to utter the name Voldemort. Instead they just call him, ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named.’ Harry, being new to the whole Wizard thing doesn’t quite understand why everyone does it but he starts to do it as well. Dumbledore hears him and wisely tells Harry, “Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” What Dumbledore is telling Harry is that mentioning Voldemort by his name takes away the mystique and fear that everyone carries. In short, it takes away some of his power.
Voldemort! Voldemort! Voldemort!
I mean it works but the dude is still pretty scary looking.
Why Honesty is the Key
Naming your fear requires honesty. Not the comfortable kind of honesty where you gloss over details, but the uncomfortable, gut-level honesty that forces you to admit what’s really holding you back.
It’s easy to say “I don’t have time,” “I’ll get back on track next week,” or “I just don’t feel motivated.” But those are surface-level excuses. The real truth, at least for me, has often been: I’m afraid.
Afraid of failing again.
Afraid of judgment.
Afraid of trying something new and falling flat.
When I wasn’t being honest with myself, these fears hid behind rational-sounding excuses. But once I named them out loud, I stripped away their disguise and could see them for what they are.
How Fear Showed Up for Me
Recently, I avoided the scale for weeks. Deep down, I knew I’d gained some weight back. I hadn’t been as accountable as I expect myself to be, and the thought of seeing that number was a rude awakening. But when I finally got honest and said to myself, “I’m afraid to step on the scale,” I felt a shift.
So I did it anyway. Yes, the number was higher. Yes, it hurt. But now I had clarity. I wasn’t stuck in the fog of fear—I was standing on solid ground with a clear starting point.
That’s the power of naming your fear. It doesn’t erase the challenge, but it takes away the mystery and gives you something to work with.
Connecting Fear and Change
This is where the two posts connect: leaning into change and naming what you fear are two sides of the same coin.
Leaning into change means being open to the unknown.
Naming your fear means being honest about why the unknown feels scary.
Together, they form a powerful approach to growth. If I can honestly name what I’m afraid of and still lean into the change anyway, then fear no longer controls me—courage does.
A New Season, A New Start
This couldn’t come at a better time. The back-to-school season is a natural reset point. Kids are starting fresh, routines are shifting, and even as adults we feel the pull of a new rhythm. It’s the perfect time to name your fears, embrace change, and step into a new chapter.
Maybe for you it’s the fear of starting a new habit. Or the fear of letting go of an old one. Maybe it’s the fear of not being “good enough” to stick with your goals. Whatever it is, name it honestly, and then use this season of new beginnings as your launching point.
The Takeaway
Fear thrives in the dark, but it shrinks in the light. Honesty is the light switch. And change is the path forward.
Ok, so this is another one of those fabulous AI images. I wanted an image that reflected something hiding under the bed that looked scary when the lights were out but was not scary when the light were on.
I actually think turning the lights on made it more scary.
When all was said and done, I had to be honest with myself about my fear of slipping backward, my fear of judgment, and my fear of the scale. Naming those fears didn’t magically fix them, but it gave me the courage to lean into change anyway.
So here’s my challenge for you: as we head deeper into this season of new beginnings, don’t just think about what changes you want to make—also take the time to name what you fear about making them.
Because once you’ve named your fear and leaned into the change, you’ll discover the freedom that comes with moving forward, one honest step at a time.
Lately, I’ve had to face an uncomfortable truth: I’ve gained some weight back and really lost my mojo. I haven’t been as accountable to myself as I expect to be, and that reality stings. But rather than let that setback define me, I’ve decided to practice what I preach and treat this honestly and deal with it directly. For me its a reminder that what worked before might not be enough now, and that leaning into change is sometimes the only way to move forward.
As I sit typing this the windows are open and the night air blowing in is cool and refreshing. You can just feel a hint of fall in the air. The back-to-school season is in full swing and has always been a season of fresh starts. Even as adults, we feel that shift in the air—new schedules, new routines, new opportunities to reset. I had a teacher once say on the first day of school, “Everyone sitting here right now has an A. Keeping that grade is up to you.” I like that idea. It’s always made me feel hopeful and like anything was possible.
For kids, it’s the start of a new school year. For parents, it’s the chance to get back into structure. And for all of us, it’s a reminder that we don’t have to wait until January 1st to make a change. The best time to start fresh is always right now.
So as backpacks get packed and calendars fill up, I’m challenging myself to see this season as my own “new semester,” and treating this moment as a chance to recommit. Change is rarely comfortable. Most of us—myself included—like routines. They give us structure, a sense of control, and a clear path forward. But if I’ve learned anything on this weight loss journey, it’s that the real growth happens when you step outside of your comfort zone and lean into change, not away from it.
A New Bike, A New Perspective
One of those changes has been adding a new bike to my mix. Bike riding has been a favorite activity of mine since I was a kid. Riding reminds me of carefree summer days, spending time with friends and freedom to explore. For me it’s not just exercise—it’s adventure, fresh air, and a mental reset all rolled into one.
At first, I hesitated. Did I really need a new bike? My other one, while still in decent shape, was over 30 years old. My ‘new’ bike is actually used and a couple of years old and I got a great deal on it because I bought it from the bike rental store my daughter works at. Shoutout to Pocono Biking for hooking me up.
Sometimes change is as simple as shifting the scenery—swapping a treadmill for the open road, or a predictable workout for something that sparks joy again. I’m looking forward to traveling many miles together with my new bike, seeing new things and having adventures.
Tracking Smarter with Calo AI
The second change I made was switching my food tracking app to Calo AI. This change is especially important now, as I work on regaining the accountability I’d let slip. By tracking smarter, I’m holding myself to the standard I know I can meet.
As anyone who has followed me along for any length of time would know I’ve been a huge proponent of Weight Watchers. I owe that App a debt of gratitude I can never repay, but it was time for a change. Calo AI has given me a new tool to explore and has helped focus my daily eating. Embracing change here meant learning a new way to be accountable for what I eat, and it also meant letting go of my old familiar friend.
Why Leaning Into Change Matters
The lesson I keep coming back to is this: change isn’t the enemy. In fact, it’s often the very thing that keeps momentum alive. When we avoid change, we risk falling into ruts, losing motivation, and letting old habits creep back in.
I know because that’s what happened to me. But when we lean into change—when we welcome it—we give ourselves a chance to grow, to adapt, and to find joy in the journey again.
For me, it was a new bike and a new food tracker. For you, it might be trying a different workout class, changing your meal prep routine, or even just taking a walk in a new park. The specifics don’t matter as much as the mindset: be open, be willing, and let change work for you.
The Takeaway
Leaning into change doesn’t mean overhauling your life overnight. It means recognizing when something isn’t serving you anymore and having the courage to try something new. Sometimes it’s as small as downloading a new app. Sometimes it’s as big as taking a new path altogether.
Yes, I’ve stumbled. Yes, I’ve gained some weight back. But instead of hiding from it, I’m leaning into change to get back on track. Because progress lives on the other side of change.
So, what’s one change you can lean into this week?
I believe in total honesty on this journey. And I have to be honest that the past few months I feel like I haven’t been at my best when it comes to my diet and exercise. There are a million solid excuses for why. We’ve been overhauling our entire house as I mentioned in prior posts and most of my evenings and weekends have been spent outside building stuff. This has been rewarding in many ways, and honestly it is a form of exercise, but along with my focus on the house I’ve taken my eye off tracking my food as well as I should be and I’ve missed lots of workouts.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it that on this journey there’s no place for excuses.
One of the key ways to lose track is to accept excuses-even if they’re justified.
For me there’s a specific kind of heaviness that creeps in when I feel things starting to slip — my routines, my goals, my motivation, my grip on the version of myself I’ve worked so hard to build feels like it’s slipping away.
Here are some Red Flags that You’re Losing Focus
You start rationalizing why you skip a workout. You replace healthy behaviors with unhealthy habits Your food choices drift back to comfort instead of commitment. Your “why” feels fuzzy. You wake up tired in more ways than one. You stop posting on your blog and podcast as much as you were (this one is just for me)
It doesn’t happen all at once. It never does. But one skipped workout becomes three. One “I’ll track tomorrow” becomes two weeks of radio silence on your food log. One day of letting life get in the way turns into a full-blown detour.
Sound familiar? This isn’t the first time I’ve felt things getting off track–it happens every once in a while. What I’ve learned that this slipping feeling isn’t the end of the road. It’s a signal. It’s data. It’s a moment to pause, reassess, and recommit — without shame. But it requires some critical steps.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Name It Without Judging It
The worst thing you can do when things start slipping is pretend it’s not happening. The second worst? Beat yourself up over it. This only makes the hole deeper and puts you into a negative mental space.
It’s important to note that this isn’t a moral failure. It’s not weakness. It’s life. Stress piles up. Schedules shift. Energy dips. And yes, motivation fluctuates. That doesn’t mean you’re done. It means you’re human.
So name it: “I’ve lost some momentum.” “I’m not where I want to be.” “I’m struggling to stay on track.”
That’s awareness — not failure.
2. Zoom Out to Zoom Back In
When you’re stuck in the feeling of slipping, everything feels urgent. But urgency without direction leads to panic, not progress.
Instead, take a breath. Then zoom out. Assess where things are now and focus on what was working before.
What was working before? What changed? What are the patterns that got you here?
Then zoom back in. Start small. You don’t need to fix everything overnight — you just need to start again right away.
3. Find the First Domino
When I feel off track, I look for the one thing I can do today that makes everything else easier.
For me it always starts with honest food tracking. Every meal, every day, no matter what. This is the simple core action that got me going and it is the simple action that I return to when things seem to be slipping away.
For me tracking is that first domino. Once I get that other healthy habits want to follow from drinking more water to exercising with purpose.
Momentum starts with a nudge — not a sprint. Find that first domino. Knock it down. Watch what follows.
4. Revisit Your “Why” — Not Your Weight
When the scale stalls or goes up, it’s easy to spiral. But your “why” isn’t a number.
It’s your energy. Your mood. Your longevity. Your confidence. Your ability to show up for the people you love.
That’s what you’re fighting for. And you’re still in the fight.
5. Use the Slip as a Strategy
Here’s the twist: the slip is part of the plan.
Every time you fall off and get back on — you build resilience. If you pay attention you can use these slips as learning moments. You learn what trips you up. You learn how to get back on track faster. That’s not regression. That’s growth as long as you get back in the game.
Final Thought: You’re Still the Author
This moment — this slippery, messy, foggy moment — it’s just a page in the book.
You’re still writing the story, and you haven’t lost the plot.
So pick up the pen. Today. Not Tomorrow. Not “when life calms down.” Now.
And if you need help, like I have lately, go back to your toolkit.
Re-read the old posts you wrote…..
Re-listen to the podcast episodes you’ve recorded…
I’ve spent more than 25 years working for software companies, and for most of that time I’ve been a Product Manager. My job is to envision a better future for customers using my product, then lead teams through ambiguity, break big features into small deliverables, and adjust quickly when things don’t go as planned.
It’s funny that I used Agile principles every day at work but for some reason it took me a long time to se how they translated to managing my own weight loss journey.
I’ve talked a lot about how I’m a master at building grand plans, setting overly ambitious goals, and then… burning out and falling apart.
As I began to reflect on what sustained habits look like in the real world and as I thought about how I worked in small increments (one meal at a time, one workout at a time) it dawned on my that I was really unconsciously using the same practices I had learned over the years at work.
It’s proven very true that Agile processes can be applied to all kinds of large tasks so if you’re looking for some well-researched practices to help ground your transformation journey look no further.
The Problem with “Waterfall” Weight Loss
Way, ‘back in the day’ most software products were developed with a software process called Waterfall where an entire project traveled through a single step in the process and not until everything had passed that step did the whole project move on. This process required a lot of planning before anything could even begin and because each step took so much effort making any kind of changes along the way was discouraged. In short, the process was design to be thorough but rigid. A typical diagram of the process looks something like this:
Most of us approach weight loss like a classic waterfall project. We set a huge goal—“Lose 50 pounds by summer!”—and try to map out every step in advance: diet, workouts, supplements, you name it. No room for error. No flexibility.
But life isn’t linear, and neither is transformation. Things break. Schedules get messy. Motivation dips. And when your perfect plan gets derailed, what do you do? You quit.
I know I did. More than once.
Discovering Agile for Health
In the world of Agile software development, we ditch the massive upfront plans and focus on iteration. We test, learn, and adapt. We ask, “What’s the next smallest step we can take toward our goal?”
So I asked myself: what if I treated my health like a product I manage? Not a perfect, fully realized product, but one that is always in development. Much like software or lives require regular updates, debugging, and the occasional patch note that says, “Sorry for the glitch. We’re working on it.”
Building the MVP: Just Show Up
In Agile, we start with a Minimum Viable Product (MVP)—the simplest version that delivers value to our customer. For me, that meant one thing: track my food using the Weight Watchers app every day. Do it honestly and consistently. That’s it.
Not crush a 90-minute workout. Not eat flawlessly. Just show up today, and do it again tomorrow.
So I did. I tracked one meal. I drank more water. I focused on consistency over intensity.
It wasn’t sexy, and it took time. But it worked.
Daily Standup
In Agile practice a development team does a quick check-in each day and each team member talks about what they worked on the day before and what they will be working on during the current day. This gives others on the team an opportunity to offer insights or ask questions about the work of other team members and also provides daily accountability.
I brought the same practice of the daily standup to my weight loss process by plotting out my meals for the day ahead of time so I knew where my Weight Watchers points would be going. It’s still true today, most days I plan my workout for the day even going so far as to get dressed in my workout gear as soon as I wake up. I also lock in my meals (especially breakfast and lunch) for the day so I know where my points will be spent. This daily check in keeps me honest and focused. It also lets me get small daily wins and spot areas where I’m falling off track.
Sprint Reviews and Retrospectives
In Agile software development most teams work in one or two week ‘sprints.’ Before beginning a sprint the team identifies the work they will do in the sprint increment and what the key deliverables will be. These are typically memorialized so everyone on the team knows what the goals are. When the sprint ends the team spends time assessing how they did against their goals and commitments. The team reviews what went well and what didn’t, ideally not as a form of judgment but in order to foster honest communication and a learning mindset.
A key point here is that nothing ever goes perfectly. There’s always room for improvement and something to be learned.
Every week or two, I pause to review: What’s working? What’s not? Where am I struggling?
Sometimes I realize I need more sleep. Other times, I notice I’m snacking too much or not eating as clean as I should. Lately, we’ve been doing a lot of work on our house and I’ve been skipping workouts to make time for working outside, building decks or planting gardens or putting in walkways. I know this work burns calories, but I have had to make efforts to ensure I keep my workouts going–even if they are shorter and on fewer days. These little retrospectives gave me permission to adjust—not abandon—the plan.
Agile Isn’t Just for Software
Today, I’m healthier, stronger, and more grounded than I’ve been in years—not because I followed a perfect plan, but because I gave myself room to iterate.
Weight loss, like any big challenge, is rarely about willpower. It’s about systems. Feedback loops. Patience.
So whether you’re trying to lose weight, write a book, or just build a better version of yourself, try going Agile. Start small. Adjust often. Celebrate the wins, learn from the misses, and keep shipping new versions of yourself.
You start strong. The motivation is high, the gym clothes are laid out, your playlist is fire, and the momentum is pulling you forward. Then one missed workout turns into a couple. Then it’s a week. Then two. And before you know it, you’re in a full-on slump. The treadmill becomes a clothes hanger, the running shoes turn into everyday shoes and the workout clothes turn into yard work attire.
If you have a treadmill and it looks like this you have more going on than just a workout slump. I’m not sure exactly what any of these ‘clothes’ are but AI seems to think this is what it looks like if you use your treadmill to throw your clothes on.
That fire you felt? Gone cold. And here comes the voice in your head: “This always happens.” “You can never stick to anything.” “Why even try again?”
Sound familiar?
You’ve hit a slump. It’s not failure. It’s not proof that you’re lazy. It’s just part of the process.
But here’s the key: you don’t have to stay there. You can use it. You learn can from it. And you start again — differently.
Let’s talk about how.
Step 1: Ditch the Shame
First things first: enough with the guilt.
Frustration and fatigue are a normal part of life. Sometimes everything is clicking and easy and at times everything seems like a lot of work for little reward. These ebbs and flows are normal but you can learn from the ‘low’ times to propel you to action.
Shame keeps you stuck. It creates a negative habit loop: you feel bad for missing workouts, so you avoid starting again, which makes you feel worse. It’s a trap — and the way out is self-compassion and resetting that feedback loop.
Instead of saying, “I’ve let myself go,” say, “I’ve been through a tough patch, and I’m ready to get back to me.”
It’s important to also realize that you’re not starting over from scratch. You’re starting from a a position of experience. You already know more than you did the last time. And that’s power you can use to increase your chances of success.
Step 2: Lower the Bar to Rebuild the Habit
One of the biggest mistakes I used to make — and I see this with a lot of people — is trying to come back full throttle. Like, “I haven’t worked out in three weeks, so I need to crush it today.”
That thinking will burn you out faster than a 90-minute bootcamp which will only increase the intensity of the negative loop in your mind and make it harder to get back at it.
Here’s a different approach: Lower the expectation bar low enough that you can get over it without much effort,
10 minutes of movement every day for a week.
One set of bodyweight exercises for 3 days.
A walk instead of a run.
The goal isn’t to be impressive. It’s to be consistent. Because consistency is what builds a habit and confidence. And confidence is what builds momentum.
Step 3: Focus on Identity, Not Intensity
This is something I say all the time on Used to Guy: don’t just chase results — chase identity.
When you’re in a slump, your brain wants you to believe you’re back to square one. But you’re not. You’ve been the kind of person who works out. That identity is still there. It just needs a little dusting off.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to prove to yourself, day by day, that you’re still that person.
So even if you do 5 minutes of movement, log it. Count it. Celebrate it. Because that’s a vote for the kind of person you’re becoming.
Step 4: Mix It Up to Break the Monotony
Here’s a common but under-recognized reason people fall off track: they’re bored.
Same workout. Same playlist. Same gym. Same route. And the brain, being the pleasure-seeking machine it is, starts tuning out. That’s when the slump starts creeping in.
So here’s your permission: shake it up.
Try something new. Different doesn’t mean you’re not serious — it means you’re smart enough to keep it fresh.
If you usually lift, getting outside and walking or running.
If you run, swap it for biking, swimming, or hiking.
Try an outdoor bootcamp instead of the gym.
Switch to bodyweight circuits at home for a week.
Grab a friend and do something fun and low-pressure like playing tennis or pickleball.
Sometimes reigniting your motivation isn’t about discipline — it’s about rediscovery. You might even realize that what burned you out wasn’t you — it was your routine.
I’ve had moments where changing just one variable — like working out at a different time of day, or switching up my playlist — completely changed my energy.
Don’t be afraid to pivot. Movement should evolve with your life.
Step 5: Reconnect to Your Why
One of the best ways to get unstuck is to remember what you’re really working toward — and why it matters.
For me, fitness was never just about weight. If you recall I waited a full year before beginning to go back to running after committing to my weight loss plan. When all was said and done my return to exercise was about identity repair. It was about being someone who follows through, someone who values their body and their mind. It helped me feel in control when life felt chaotic. It gave me proof — physical proof — that I could change.
What’s your deeper why?
More energy to play with your kids?
Breaking a family pattern of poor health?
Feeling proud when you look in the mirror?
Managing anxiety without numbing out?
Commit your purpose to paper. Put it somewhere you’ll see every day. And on the hard days, let that “why” be louder than the excuses. Mine ‘Keep Moving Forward’ is the title of my blog and tattooed on the inside of my left arm. It reminds me every day that no matter what comes at me in that day, or in life, all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other and press on.
Step 6: Use the Slump as a Signal, Not a Sentence
Slumps are feedback. They’re trying to tell you something.
Maybe you were doing too much. Maybe you were bored. Maybe life got hectic and movement took a back seat — and that’s okay.
Instead of judging it, listen to it.
Then adjust:
If your schedule changed, maybe your workout window needs to change, too.
If you burned out, maybe your recovery game needs to improve.
If you hated every second of what you were doing… maybe it’s time for something that lights you up again.
Slumps can become turning points — if you let them.
Final Thoughts: The Comeback Always Starts Small
Hitting a slump doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re alive. No one is “on” all the time. No one trains at 100% forever. What matters is what you do next.
So take a breath. Let go of the guilt. Take one small step. Then another.
Not because you hate where you are — but because you believe in where you’re going.
And if you need to hear it today: You haven’t lost it. You just paused. And you’re allowed to restart as many times as you need.
Because you don’t have to be who you used to be to build a life you’re proud of. You just need to keep showing up.
Let’s get one thing straight: you probably don’t have a willpower problem. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not doomed to repeat the same cycle of “start strong, burn out, repeat.”
What you many of us have is a habit loop problem—and that’s good news. Because habits? They’re not about motivation. They’re about systems and processes. And those can be rebuilt.
In this post, we’re diving into a key reason habits either stick or fall apart—and how understanding the brain’s role in behavior change can finally shift your transformation from a struggle to a strategy.
There is a lot of research out there on habits loops. Below are some links for further reading beyond this post:
If you want to really go deep on this concept check out: Atomic Habitsby James Clear
🌀 The Habit Loop: Cue → Routine → Reward
Let’s talk about how your brain works on autopilot. It’s been well documented that habits have a three part loop. This pattern is pretty standard across both ‘good’ habits (e.g. exercise) and ‘bad’ habits (e.g. overeating or addiction)
Every habit—good or bad—follows this three-part loop:
Cue: A trigger. Something that tells your brain, “Hey, it’s time to do that thing.”
Routine: The action or behavior itself.
Reward: The payoff that tells your brain, “Let’s do this again next time.”
Example:
Cue: You feel stressed.
Routine: You reach for a cookie.
Reward: Your brain gets a little dopamine hit. Stress temporarily fades.
The loop forms. Do it enough times, and your brain automates it. You stop thinking. You just do.
Your Brain Is Trying to Be Efficient—Not Helpful
Here’s the kicker: The human brain loves habits. Habits save energy. Habits save time. But a habit if the habit helps you reach your goals. It just wants efficiency.
That’s why you can want to change, know you should change, even plan to change—and still default back to old patterns.
Motivation is a spark. But neuroscience is the fuel system.
Rewiring the Loop
Want to change a habit? Don’t rely on brute force. Focus on creating a better loop.
Step 1: Keep the Cue
Don’t try to remove the trigger—that’s almost impossible. Instead, where you can apply your focus is on changing your response.
If your cue is boredom, stress, or celebration, don’t fight the feeling. Redirect the routine.
Instead of scrolling social media when bored → Try a 2-minute walk
Instead of snacking under stress → Try redirecting your anxiety into a healthy activity or hobby. It could be as simple as doing a daily Duolingo lesson.
Instead of “treating yourself” with food → Try memorializing your victories by starting a gratitude journal.
Step 2: Substitute the Routine
Don’t just remove a behavior. Replace it. Create a “plug-and-play” swap.
Step 3: Hack the Reward
Here’s the wild part: your brain can’t always tell the difference between a “real” reward and an intentional one.
So make your healthy behavior feel rewarding:
Track a streak.
Say out loud, “That was a win.” Externalizing good things can help counteract negative thoughts and patterns.
Log it in a habit app–or if you use an app to record your food or exercise you can usually record things like this there.
Literally smile—yes, that lights up the reward center, too. Sometimes when I’m in the middle of a long workout when I’m not feeling awesome saying hello to someone passing by on a run–exchanging a little wave and a smile is all the motivation I need to press on. My wife think’s I’m nuts–and she’s right-because I wave to every car or person that passes me. It’s just my little way of being present in the world.
⚡️ Tiny Tweaks > Big Overhauls
Trying to change everything at once? That’s a great way to overwhelm your brain and trigger resistance.
The science shows this clearly: small, consistent tweaks win.
Want to work out more? Start with 5 minutes a day.
Want to eat better? Start by adding one healthy item to one meal a day, not removing five foods or taking on a major diet overhaul that you can’t sustain.
Want to walk daily? Pair it with something enjoyable—like music, a podcast, or fresh air breaks.
🧠 ADD, ADHD & the Distracted Brain
If you live with ADHD (like I do), this loop can be even more chaotic. Our dopamine system is wired differently, which makes reward and impulse control even trickier.
Here’s what helps me.
Use visual cues (post-its, alarms, reminders).
Shorten the loop: immediate reward after a small action. I’ll talk more in my next post about incremental wins in more detail. But keeping the action -> reward loop small is key to keeping things in check for me.
Externalize accountability—checklists, habit tracking apps, food tracking apps like Weight Watchers, or even texting a friend.
The bottom line is, even if you are wired to distraction you can find ways to gain focus by introducing we structure and novelty.
Structure helps us know what we are supposed to be doing. It make accountability easier.
Novelty, helps keep things fresh and interesting. Over the years I’ve gotten into different exercise interests, from running to biking. And I’ve found fun challenges to keep me moving with purpose.
For me, the key is not letting things get boring and not letting my commitments become stressors. It is a delicate balance for sure and something I work at every day.
Identity: The Final Habit Lock
Want habits to last? Connect them to your identity.
I’ve mentioned this in past posts but by adopting Instead of saying:
“I want to lose weight.”
Try:
“I’m the kind of person who moves daily.” “I’m someone who keeps promises to myself.” “I’m someone who chooses progress over perfection.”
The more you act like the person you want to become, the more your brain rewires to support that version of you. If you want to go deeper on this concept check out this post.
Weekly Challenge
Pick One Habit Loop This Week to Hack.
Identify the cue (what triggers the behavior?)
Swap the routine (what new action will you try?)
Define the reward (how will you make it feel good?)
Track it for 7 days.
Print this. Stick it to your fridge. Set reminders. Give it 1 minute of thought daily. That’s enough to start rewiring.
Final Thoughts
You’re not failing because you “can’t change.” You’re stuck because you haven’t learned how to build habits that match how your brain actually works.
This is the part most people skip. But this is where real change starts.
You don’t need a new plan. You need a new loop—and a brain that finally believes it can win.
Ready to rebuild your loop? Download the printable worksheet [coming soon!] or start your own habit tracker today. And if you need more support, check out the Keep Moving Forward Podcast.
We’ve all heard the airline safety instruction: “In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.” While it might seem counterintuitive, this directive underscores a vital truth: you can’t help others effectively if you’re not taking care of yourself first.
Well AI almost got this right. The guy got the mask first but he may have also gotten a catheter…..I don’t want to know where that hose is going.
In our daily lives, especially as parents, partners, friends, or caregivers, it become easy to others’ needs over our own. We give our time, energy, and resources, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. But here’s the reality: neglecting our well-being doesn’t serve anyone in the long run. I’ve written in prior posts about feeling guilty and selfish for focusing on my health and wellness. And I’ve touched briefly on the importance self-care as central to being your best version of yourself.
The Consequences of Neglecting Self-Care
Reflecting on my life, there were times when I tried to be everything for everyone. I was working full-time, pursuing further education, and managing family responsibilities. I believed that pushing through, despite my own needs, was a sign of strength. But the truth was, I was often running on empty and just struggling to keep my head above water.
I recall a period when I was juggling work, night classes, and family life. I was so overextended that I couldn’t focus on writing a simple paper. To cope, I would run on the treadmill to exhaust myself physically, hoping it would help me concentrate. It was a temporary fix that highlighted a deeper issue: I wasn’t dealing with my own needs.
This pattern of neglect led to burnout, frustration, and a sense of failure and along with it my weight ballooned. And for me once this vicious cycle got going it was easy to spiral out of control. I realize in hindsight that by not prioritizing my well-being, I was not only harming myself but also diminishing my capacity to support those around me.
Caught in the Middle: The Reality of the Sandwich Generation
If you’re like me, you’re not just balancing work and wellness — you’re also raising kids and looking after aging parents. That’s the reality of the sandwich generation. And let me tell you, it’s one of the toughest, most under-discussed roles out there.
One hour you’re helping your nearly adult kids try to launch their own lives in a world that makes standing on your own two feet harder, and more expensive, all the time. The next, you’re coordinating medication schedules, managing a never-ending list of Dr visits or driving across town to help your mom get to a doctor’s appointment. You’re emotionally “on” all day, answering everyone’s needs — while yours quietly pile up in the background. In our family my wife and I split a lot of these duties and we cover for each other (to be fair, it’s mostly Janet covering for me since my work schedule isn’t super flexible).
Yesterday we had some car ride time and we found ourselves discussing this issue. We talked about how exhausting it can be and we talked about how, in our 50’s, you really need to get your shit together. I made the comment, “You need to put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” and that really hit home to both of us.
Caring for another person, parent or child, is an act of deep love — but it’s also heavy. And you can’t carry that weight on fumes. If you want to be steady and strong for your family, it starts with giving yourself permission to care for you.
That means:
Saying “no” when your plate’s already full
Allowing yourself rest without guilt
Asking for help, even if you’re used to being the helper
Making space — even 15 minutes a day — to tend to your mental and physical health
When you prioritize your own well-being, you’re not just serving yourself — you’re becoming a healthier, more grounded version of you that everyone around you benefits from.
Embracing Self-Care as a Necessity, Not a Luxury
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you prioritize your health—both mental and physical—you become more resilient, patient, and present. You set a positive example for others, demonstrating the importance of self-respect and boundaries.
For instance, during my weight loss journey, I learned that transformation isn’t just about diet and exercise. It’s about mindset. I had to shift from seeing healthy habits as chores to viewing them as acts of self-love. This perspective change was crucial in maintaining long-term success.
Practical Steps to Prioritize Self-Care
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. Over-committing can lead to burnout.
Schedule “Me Time”: Allocate time for activities that rejuvenate you, whether it’s reading, exercising, or simply relaxing.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Whether it’s from friends, family, or professionals, seeking support is a strength, not a weakness.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly assess your well-being and make necessary adjustments to your routine.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Care
When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to care for others. Your energy, positive outlook, and resilience can inspire those around you. It’s like the concept of “burning the boats” I discussed in a previous post—fully committing to change without leaving an escape route. By investing in yourself, you create a solid foundation from which you can support and uplift others.
Final Thoughts
Remember, putting your oxygen mask on first isn’t about neglecting others; it’s about ensuring you’re in the best position to help them. Prioritizing self-care enables you to be the best version of yourself—for you and for those who rely on you.
If you’re interested in exploring more about mindset shifts and personal transformation, check out my previous posts on usedtoguy.com. Let’s continue this journey together, embracing self-care as the first step toward meaningful change.
I’ve mentioned it several times across the blog and podcast but I’ve lived most of my life being more anxious and distracted more than I want to be. And I know I’m not alone.
I don’t just mean the occasional zoning out or wandering attention. I mean full-on can’t sit in my chair, endless mind-jumping. Navigating a daily struggle to keep my brain tethered to what actually matters. Most people in my professional life have had no idea how hard it was for me to focus for extended periods of time. I became a master of getting things done my way, which often meant procrastinating until the last moment so I could work with an adrenaline rush fueled by trying to hit a deadline. I became a master at working under pressure, even when in many cases I manufactured that pressure.
Most people in my personal life knew I was a bit like a cat chasing a laser.
My mind bounces from one thing to another pretty quickly and for the most part they’ve gotten used to tuning out those distractions. It was just always part of living with me.
For almost all of my life I thought this was just how everyone was. My first memory of feeling this was was sitting in first period Science class in 7th grade, right around puberty. I couldn’t really explain the feeling but the best I can do is that it felt like an itch I just couldn’t scratch and sitting still made it awful. Sometimes I’d feel it less and sometime it would be overwhelming but I didn’t know things could be different or that what I was dealing with was not ‘normal.’
The worst bout I ever had was when our eldest son was a baby. I was working full time, going to night school for a second graduate degree and sleeping poorly–I was overextended and exhausted. I can remember I had a paper to write for a class and the only way I could make myself sit still was to run on my treadmall for about 10 minutes then go sit and write until the ‘itch’ returned and I couldn’t make my fingers type anymore. Then I’d go back to the treadmill and exhaust myself again. I repeated this until the paper was done. Needless to say I could not sustain all of this and I had to step away from the graduate program. I actually talked to a Dr at the time and he correctly diagnosed me but I didn’t want to hear it so I spent the next 25 years just pushing on.
The truth I didn’t want to accept is that the way I feel is neurological. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADHD. I’ve been formally diagnosed (twice), and yes — I now take medication for it. That medication helps tremendously. It gives me the mental traction I didn’t have before and takes away that ‘itch’ that I’ve lived with for most of my life.
But — and this is key — it doesn’t solve distraction. It creates a window. A window where I can decide how I’m going to spend my focus. And that decision still takes effort, strategy, and daily practice.
Because in this world, even a focused mind can get lost. With ADHD, it’s like trying to stay upright in a wind tunnel made of social media platforms, texts, to-dos, and self-doubt.
The Real Weight of Distraction
Here’s what trying deal with distraction has cost me:
Hours I can’t get back.
Half-finished projects and great ideas unrealized.
Moments with my family where I wasn’t as present as I could have been.
Actual, physical pain trying to manage my way through a day long meeting or a long flight where I had to stay in a seat.
And more than anything? Years living obese because food was an distraction of choice.
It’s easy to believe that failure to focus means failure as a person. And if I’m not careful, that belief starts making decisions for me: “Don’t bother — you won’t stick with it anyway.”
That’s a lie.
A powerful, believable, persistent lie — but still a lie.
Life Happens
For the past month we’ve been doing some long overdue renovations on our house, and because we do nothing small, we decided to do the entire exterior of our house. We’re also trying to stretch our budget as far as we can so my wife and I basically have acted as general contractors. We found the best, affordable people to do specific jobs. It also means we’ve take on a lot of the work ourselves. I also have a ‘real’ job so most of the work we do has to happen in the evening and on weekends. This has meant that almost every waking moment, sometimes before I start work and usually as soon as I wrap up my day, has been dedicated to some project. We’ve built decks, laid flooring in a new sunroom, hung drywall, installed lights, stained decks, painted walls and rebuilt our front walkway. In addition, we did all of this while dealing with a constant stream of horrible weather.
Needless to say, this whole process is basically one big distraction. For someone like me this can be a recipe for running from one thing to the next without finishing anything at all. As each project gets more off track our collective frustration increases and something that is supposed to be good turns into a total mess.
This time has been a bit different for me. Yeah, things have been challenging, and we’ve had a lot of things going on at once but more than usual I’ve been able to use some of the tactics I’ve put in place on my weight loss journey and applied them to our home project. Here are some key points:
1. Work small – For this round I tried to focus on only the next thing to do. I constantly reminded myself that I can only do one thing and to honed in on that one thing. If I found myself beginning to list out all of the things that had to get done I could feel that overhwhelmed ‘itchy’ feeling coming around so I tamped it down quickly by focusing on the immediate task and not moving on until that task was complete.
2. Be Patient – When I’m doing something that I’m not used to doing, like construction, I tend to want to move really fast. I think that’s because I just want to get it over with so I can move on. This time when I caught myself speeding up I reminded myself to slow down. It made for a better overall experience and the work I did was much better than even I expected.
3. Learn – I really adopted a learning mindset as I took on each project. Instead of getting stressed and anxious about doing something I’ve never done I looked at each moment as an opportunity to learn something new. Granted I watched a lot of YouTube videos (what did we ever do without these) but adopting a learning mindset helped me see mistakes as learning moments instead of frustrating failures.
Distraction, Impulse Control and Weight Loss
There’s another piece of this that I haven’t talked about enough — but it’s a big one: the connection between ADHD and impulse control, especially when it comes to food and weight loss.
For years, I thought I just lacked discipline. That I was weak-willed. That I just needed to try harder. I knew I was an emotional eater and that hunger played very little role in my overeating issues.
What I didn’t realize was that my brain is wired for now.
Right now feels urgent. Right now feels real. Future consequences? Future goals? They’re distant, blurry, and way less motivating than the dopamine hit of a burger, or a handful of snacks, or going shopping for a new record.
People with ADHD are more likely to struggle with impulse control — not because we’re lazy or selfish, but because our brains process rewards differently. We chase stimulation. We avoid discomfort. We’re not bad at long-term goals — we’re bad at remembering that they matter in the moment.
And that shows up in eating. In procrastination. In skipping routines. In making the easier immediate choice, again and again — even when we know better.
Understanding that didn’t excuse my past habits, but it gave me something more powerful: awareness. And from awareness, I could start building a plan that worked with my brain, not against it. Please note I was not diagnosed until well after I had lost weight. Even with the weight loss I noticed that I still had those ‘itchy’ feelings a lot of days. Daily exercise helped me tamp down some of the distraction but I would still have several times a year where I really struggled.
There’s an important learning moment here. Often times we think that by solving one thing we will fix everything. For me, I believed that if I could lose weight and keep it off then all of my issues would simply disappear. I know, this sounds ridiculous in the light of day, but I want to call out that most times our minds, and habits, are far more complex and intertwined that we realize.
As you move along in your own journey realize that there is likely no singular ‘silver bullet’ solution to a problem. I know this sounds like a bit of a downer but being honest is central to being successful and that honesty has to extend to acknowledging that these kinds of issues require many solutions.
What Helps With Impulse Control (When Willpower Isn’t Enough)
Here’s what I’ve learned about managing impulse control :
1. Don’t Rely on Willpower
It’s a limited resource — Structure beats willpower. Boundaries beat “trying harder.” The structure Weight Watchers provided me took a lot of the pressure off of me to rely on my mind to make good decisions. The app helped me make better choices because the amount of points I was going to eat was outside of my control.
2. Make Your Environment as a Tool
I try to keep trigger foods out of the house. I eat the same meals for breakfast and lunch most days. This removes options which simplifies the whole process and doesn’t let my mind make poor decisions. Many days I dress in whatever workout gear I need to be wearing for my run or bike ride. This means I’m ready to go when my time allows.
3. Make the “Good” Choice the Easy Choice
If I have to think or plan too much, I’ll default to whatever’s easiest. So I try to pre-load my day with small, frictionless wins. From being dressed for my day’s activity to preparing meals, the more I can remove friction the better I’ll be at sticking to my plan.
4. Delay, Don’t Deny
When I want to make an impulsive choice, I say, “Wait 10 minutes.” Not “no,” just “not yet.” That pause is often enough to shift momentum and focus. I’m a bit like one of my pugs in this way. If I can pause a few minutes some new shiny thing will take over my focus.
5. Celebrate the tiny wins
Every time I choose something that supports the future version of me — even if it’s small — I note it. That’s how identity changes.
Focus, Food, and Self-Trust
What I’m finding, over and over again, is that all of this — focus, food, fitness, follow-through — comes back to self-trust. And for people that are easily distracted that self-trust can feel very broken.
We start things and don’t finish them. We over-promise. We disappoint ourselves. And eventually, we stop believing our own intentions.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Every time I follow through — on a run, a meal plan, a focused block of work — I rebuild that trust a little more.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about consistency. It’s about learning what actually works for your brain, and building a life that supports it.
Things Helping Me Reclaim Focus (Not Perfectly, But Consistently)
Here’s what’s making a difference — even with ADD, even in the real world:
1. Respecting the Medication
Despite my early reluctance to try medication, I have learned that it is important and helpful to me so I see it as just part of my daily routine, not something that means I am weak.
2. The 20-Minute Focus Sprint
This is gold: Set a timer. Pick one task. Go all in for 20 minutes. When the timer ends, you can stop — or you might find you’re finally in a groove. The more you do this the easier it becomes.
4. Physical Notes > Digital Chaos
A small notepad on my desk has become sacred. Every morning I write my top 3 priorities. If I try to do more, I end up doing less. The picture below is what my desk looks like on a typical day. As you can see I have a lot of information coming at me at one time. My paper and pen are my way of capturing what is important, slowing my brain down to write down the most critical things to be done or things to focus on.
5. Accountability Without Shame
I’ve stopped pretending I can do it all alone. As I’ve grown older I’ve become more comfortable asking questions and sharing work in flight. This practice helps me ensure that I’m not waiting until the last minute to do tasks.
6. Choosing Grace Over Guilt
Some days I still drift. I still scroll. I still feel like I got nothing done. But now I catch it sooner. I reset faster. I remind myself: one distracted hour doesn’t ruin the day. Come back. Begin again. This is the same exact practice I use with managing my weight. One bad meal doesn’t ruin the whole plan. Come back. Begin again.
A Final Word (For Me and Maybe for You)
If you live with ADHD — or even if you just live in the modern world — distraction is a battle you’ll keep fighting.
But it’s a battle worth showing up for.
Because on the other side of distraction isn’t just productivity. It’s presence. It’s peace. It’s the quiet confidence that comes from keeping your word to yourself.
I’m not trying to be perfectly focused. I’m just trying to be more intentional — more often.
And little by little, it’s working.
And when all else fails, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
🎧 Want to Go Deeper? Check out my weekly podcast. These episodes are real, raw, and full of honest conversations about what it really takes to change — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. You’ll find stories, strategies, and straight talk from someone who is on the same journey as you.
Let’s be honest — most people start a transformation journey focused on one thing: the number on the scale. It’s easy to think that if we could just drop the weight, everything else would fall into place. Confidence, energy, happiness — all solved by shedding pounds, right? I certainly believed for a long time and as the big pounds were coming off it felt true.
But here’s what no one tells you up front: transformation that lasts isn’t about your body. It’s about your mind.
This is another one of those awesome AI images that conveys what I wanted, ‘a train struggling to make it up a steep mountain,’ but it clearly didn’t understand that the train should be on the tracks and it added in a little guy who really is the hero of this image. If he can fix those tracks on that mountain anything is possible.
If you don’t work to change your mindset, the weight will come back. The old habits will creep in. The self-sabotage will return. Why? Because lasting change doesn’t come from punishment or perfection. It comes from rewiring the way you think about, believe in, and speak to yourself.
This journey isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about letting go of the thoughts, tired stories, and identities that have kept you stuck. And once your mindset shifts? The physical changes follow — and they stand a much better change of sticking.
The Real Battle Is in Your Head
Most people think the hard part is giving up sugar, going to the gym, or tracking meals. Those things take work for sure. But the real challenge? It’s the conversations happening in your head every single day.
Thoughts like:
“I’ve always been this way and don’t know how to be any other way.”
“It’s too late for me to change.”
“I always fail eventually, so what’s the point?”
“This is just who I am now.”
Those thoughts do more damage than any fast food meal ever could. Because they shape how you see yourself — and how you show up in the world.
Transformation starts when you stop letting those thoughts drive the car. By creating a mindful practice of noticing those times where you’re practicing negative talk When you notice them, challenge them, and choose something better. That’s the work. That’s the shift.
You Don’t Need a New Diet — You Need a New Identity
You’ve probably tried it all — keto, intermittent fasting, counting macros, 30-day challenges. And maybe they worked for a little while. But if you never changed the way you see yourself, those changes were always going to be temporary.
How you see yourself can have a powerful positive, or negative, impact on your long term success at weight loss or any personal transformation.
The truth is, we act in alignment with our identity. If you still believe you’re “the fat guy,” or “the girl who always quits,” or “someone who can never stick to anything,” then no matter how much progress you make, your actions will eventually snap back to match your self-image.
That’s why real transformation isn’t about willpower — it’s about identity work. It’s about becoming the kind of person who makes decisions aligned with who they want to be, not who they’ve always been.
How I Shifted My Mindset
As I’ve mentioned many times, I was the definition of a “Used To Guy.” I used to be fit. I used to be driven. I used to be proud of myself.
But what actually changed everything was this simple realization:
“I didn’t need to hate myself into change — I needed to respect myself into growth.”
Once I stopped fighting myself and started supporting myself — with compassion, with structure, and with honesty — things began to shift. Not overnight, but for real. And it started with the way I talked to myself when no one was listening.
The Internal Wins Are the Real Milestones
We all love physical milestones: hitting a weight goal, fitting into old clothes, finishing a tough workout. But the internal milestones? Those are the ones that last.
You know you’re really transforming when:
You stop negotiating with your excuses.
You follow through on promises to yourself — even when no one else sees it.
You bounce back from setbacks instead of spiraling into shame.
You trust yourself again.
You don’t need to be perfect — just consistent and honest.
Those wins don’t show up in before-and-after pictures, but they’re the reason people finally succeed after years of trying.
The Science Backs It Up, Too
This isn’t just feel-good talk. Research shows that mindset — particularly adopting a “growth mindset” — is a stronger predictor of long-term success than almost anything else.
A growth mindset means you believe your abilities and outcomes can change with effort, strategy, and learning. It’s the opposite of a fixed mindset, where you believe your traits are set in stone (“I’m just bad at this” or “I’ve always been this way”).
When you adopt a growth mindset, failure isn’t fatal — it’s feedback. You learn, adjust, and keep moving. And that’s the key to staying in the game long enough to actually win.
Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life
If you’re just starting this journey — or if you’ve been on it for years — here are some powerful mindset shifts that made a huge difference for me:
From “I have to” → “I get to.” Movement isn’t punishment. It’s a privilege. Fueling your body is self-respect, not restriction.
From “I failed” → “I learned.” Every misstep is data. Use it to build better systems, not shame yourself.
From “All or nothing” → “Always something.” You don’t need perfect days. You need consistent action — even if it’s small.
From “I’ll start Monday” → “I’ll start now.” Delay is the enemy of progress. Five minutes today beats two hours next week.
From “I’m broken” → “I’m becoming.” This isn’t about fixing who you are. It’s about uncovering who you were meant to be.
It’s Okay to Struggle — Just Don’t Quit
You’re going to have rough days. You’ll feel unmotivated. You’ll slip up. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.
The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t isn’t motivation — it’s commitment. Motivation fades. Commitment stays. And when you change the way you think about yourself, you become someone who keeps going, even when it’s hard.
You’re Not Rebuilding a Body — You’re Rebuilding Trust
At the heart of it, this work isn’t about abs or macros or gym selfies. It’s about learning to trust yourself again. To believe you matter. To feel proud of who you are becoming — not just what you’re losing.
That’s the work. That’s the reward. And that’s why this journey is about so much more than just weight loss.
Weekly Challenge: Rewrite Your Inner Script
Objective: Start noticing the thoughts that shape your identity — and consciously rewrite the ones holding you back.
Challenge Instructions:
Carry a small notebook or use a notes app on your phone for one week.
Every time you catch a negative or limiting thought, write it down. These might include:
“I always screw this up.”
“I’m too old for this.”
“What’s the point?”
Right next to that thought, rewrite it into something empowering but honest. For example:
“I’m learning how to handle challenges, not just avoid them.”
“It’s never too late to become who I want to be.”
“Small progress still counts.”
End each day by reviewing your rewrites. Read them out loud like affirmations — not cheesy ones, but ones that feel like you, leveling up.
Bonus: At the end of the week, reflect:
Did your actions change when your thoughts did?
Did you show up for yourself differently?
Why This Works:
This challenge isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about creating awareness of your inner narrative — and realizing how often your own thoughts are the biggest roadblock to transformation.
When you change your self-talk, you change your behavior. And when you change your behavior, you change your life.
🎧 Want to Go Deeper? Listen to the UsedToGuy Podcast
If this post spoke to something inside you, I dive deeper into these mindset shifts every week on the Keep Moving Forward Podcast.
These episodes are real, raw, and full of honest conversations about what it really takes to change — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. You’ll find stories, strategies, and straight talk from someone who is on the same journey as you.
