I’ve mentioned it several times across the blog and podcast but I’ve lived most of my life being more anxious and distracted more than I want to be. And I know I’m not alone.

I don’t just mean the occasional zoning out or wandering attention. I mean full-on can’t sit in my chair, endless mind-jumping. Navigating a daily struggle to keep my brain tethered to what actually matters. Most people in my professional life have had no idea how hard it was for me to focus for extended periods of time. I became a master of getting things done my way, which often meant procrastinating until the last moment so I could work with an adrenaline rush fueled by trying to hit a deadline. I became a master at working under pressure, even when in many cases I manufactured that pressure.

Most people in my personal life knew I was a bit like a cat chasing a laser.

My mind bounces from one thing to another pretty quickly and for the most part they’ve gotten used to tuning out those distractions. It was just always part of living with me.

For almost all of my life I thought this was just how everyone was. My first memory of feeling this was was sitting in first period Science class in 7th grade, right around puberty. I couldn’t really explain the feeling but the best I can do is that it felt like an itch I just couldn’t scratch and sitting still made it awful. Sometimes I’d feel it less and sometime it would be overwhelming but I didn’t know things could be different or that what I was dealing with was not ‘normal.’

The worst bout I ever had was when our eldest son was a baby. I was working full time, going to night school for a second graduate degree and sleeping poorly–I was overextended and exhausted. I can remember I had a paper to write for a class and the only way I could make myself sit still was to run on my treadmall for about 10 minutes then go sit and write until the ‘itch’ returned and I couldn’t make my fingers type anymore. Then I’d go back to the treadmill and exhaust myself again. I repeated this until the paper was done. Needless to say I could not sustain all of this and I had to step away from the graduate program. I actually talked to a Dr at the time and he correctly diagnosed me but I didn’t want to hear it so I spent the next 25 years just pushing on.

The truth I didn’t want to accept is that the way I feel is neurological. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADHD. I’ve been formally diagnosed (twice), and yes — I now take medication for it. That medication helps tremendously. It gives me the mental traction I didn’t have before and takes away that ‘itch’ that I’ve lived with for most of my life.

But — and this is key — it doesn’t solve distraction. It creates a window. A window where I can decide how I’m going to spend my focus. And that decision still takes effort, strategy, and daily practice.

Because in this world, even a focused mind can get lost. With ADHD, it’s like trying to stay upright in a wind tunnel made of social media platforms, texts, to-dos, and self-doubt.

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The Real Weight of Distraction

Here’s what trying deal with distraction has cost me:

• Hours I can’t get back.
• Half-finished projects and great ideas unrealized.
• Moments with my family where I wasn’t as present as I could have been.
• Actual, physical pain trying to manage my way through a day long meeting or a long flight where I had to stay in a seat.
• And more than anything? Years living obese because food was an distraction of choice.

It’s easy to believe that failure to focus means failure as a person. And if I’m not careful, that belief starts making decisions for me: “Don’t bother — you won’t stick with it anyway.”

That’s a lie.

A powerful, believable, persistent lie — but still a lie.

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Life Happens

For the past month we’ve been doing some long overdue renovations on our house, and because we do nothing small, we decided to do the entire exterior of our house. We’re also trying to stretch our budget as far as we can so my wife and I basically have acted as general contractors. We found the best, affordable people to do specific jobs. It also means we’ve take on a lot of the work ourselves. I also have a ‘real’ job so most of the work we do has to happen in the evening and on weekends. This has meant that almost every waking moment, sometimes before I start work and usually as soon as I wrap up my day, has been dedicated to some project. We’ve built decks, laid flooring in a new sunroom, hung drywall, installed lights, stained decks, painted walls and rebuilt our front walkway. In addition, we did all of this while dealing with a constant stream of horrible weather.

Needless to say, this whole process is basically one big distraction. For someone like me this can be a recipe for running from one thing to the next without finishing anything at all. As each project gets more off track our collective frustration increases and something that is supposed to be good turns into a total mess.

This time has been a bit different for me. Yeah, things have been challenging, and we’ve had a lot of things going on at once but more than usual I’ve been able to use some of the tactics I’ve put in place on my weight loss journey and applied them to our home project. Here are some key points:

1. Work small – For this round I tried to focus on only the next thing to do. I constantly reminded myself that I can only do one thing and to honed in on that one thing. If I found myself beginning to list out all of the things that had to get done I could feel that overhwhelmed ‘itchy’ feeling coming around so I tamped it down quickly by focusing on the immediate task and not moving on until that task was complete.

2. Be Patient – When I’m doing something that I’m not used to doing, like construction, I tend to want to move really fast. I think that’s because I just want to get it over with so I can move on. This time when I caught myself speeding up I reminded myself to slow down. It made for a better overall experience and the work I did was much better than even I expected.

3. Learn – I really adopted a learning mindset as I took on each project. Instead of getting stressed and anxious about doing something I’ve never done I looked at each moment as an opportunity to learn something new. Granted I watched a lot of YouTube videos (what did we ever do without these) but adopting a learning mindset helped me see mistakes as learning moments instead of frustrating failures.

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Distraction, Impulse Control and Weight Loss

There’s another piece of this that I haven’t talked about enough — but it’s a big one: the connection between ADHD and impulse control, especially when it comes to food and weight loss.

For years, I thought I just lacked discipline. That I was weak-willed. That I just needed to try harder. I knew I was an emotional eater and that hunger played very little role in my overeating issues.

What I didn’t realize was that my brain is wired for now.

Right now feels urgent. Right now feels real. Future consequences? Future goals? They’re distant, blurry, and way less motivating than the dopamine hit of a burger, or a handful of snacks, or going shopping for a new record.

People with ADHD are more likely to struggle with impulse control — not because we’re lazy or selfish, but because our brains process rewards differently. We chase stimulation. We avoid discomfort. We’re not bad at long-term goals — we’re bad at remembering that they matter in the moment.

And that shows up in eating. In procrastination. In skipping routines. In making the easier immediate choice, again and again — even when we know better.

Understanding that didn’t excuse my past habits, but it gave me something more powerful: awareness. And from awareness, I could start building a plan that worked with my brain, not against it.
Please note I was not diagnosed until well after I had lost weight. Even with the weight loss I noticed that I still had those ‘itchy’ feelings a lot of days. Daily exercise helped me tamp down some of the distraction but I would still have several times a year where I really struggled.

There’s an important learning moment here. Often times we think that by solving one thing we will fix everything. For me, I believed that if I could lose weight and keep it off then all of my issues would simply disappear. I know, this sounds ridiculous in the light of day, but I want to call out that most times our minds, and habits, are far more complex and intertwined that we realize.

As you move along in your own journey realize that there is likely no singular ‘silver bullet’ solution to a problem. I know this sounds like a bit of a downer but being honest is central to being successful and that honesty has to extend to acknowledging that these kinds of issues require many solutions.

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What Helps With Impulse Control (When Willpower Isn’t Enough)

Here’s what I’ve learned about managing impulse control :

1. Don’t Rely on Willpower

It’s a limited resource — Structure beats willpower. Boundaries beat “trying harder.” The structure Weight Watchers provided me took a lot of the pressure off of me to rely on my mind to make good decisions. The app helped me make better choices because the amount of points I was going to eat was outside of my control.

2. Make Your Environment as a Tool

I try to keep trigger foods out of the house. I eat the same meals for breakfast and lunch most days. This removes options which simplifies the whole process and doesn’t let my mind make poor decisions. Many days I dress in whatever workout gear I need to be wearing for my run or bike ride. This means I’m ready to go when my time allows.

3. Make the “Good” Choice the Easy Choice

If I have to think or plan too much, I’ll default to whatever’s easiest. So I try to pre-load my day with small, frictionless wins. From being dressed for my day’s activity to preparing meals, the more I can remove friction the better I’ll be at sticking to my plan.

4. Delay, Don’t Deny

When I want to make an impulsive choice, I say, “Wait 10 minutes.” Not “no,” just “not yet.” That pause is often enough to shift momentum and focus. I’m a bit like one of my pugs in this way. If I can pause a few minutes some new shiny thing will take over my focus.

5. Celebrate the tiny wins

Every time I choose something that supports the future version of me — even if it’s small — I note it. That’s how identity changes.

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Focus, Food, and Self-Trust

What I’m finding, over and over again, is that all of this — focus, food, fitness, follow-through — comes back to self-trust. And for people that are easily distracted that self-trust can feel very broken.

We start things and don’t finish them. We over-promise. We disappoint ourselves. And eventually, we stop believing our own intentions.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Every time I follow through — on a run, a meal plan, a focused block of work — I rebuild that trust a little more.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about consistency. It’s about learning what actually works for your brain, and building a life that supports it.

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Things Helping Me Reclaim Focus (Not Perfectly, But Consistently)

Here’s what’s making a difference — even with ADD, even in the real world:

1. Respecting the Medication

Despite my early reluctance to try medication, I have learned that it is important and helpful to me so I see it as just part of my daily routine, not something that means I am weak.

2. The 20-Minute Focus Sprint

This is gold: Set a timer. Pick one task. Go all in for 20 minutes. When the timer ends, you can stop — or you might find you’re finally in a groove. The more you do this the easier it becomes.

4. Physical Notes > Digital Chaos

A small notepad on my desk has become sacred. Every morning I write my top 3 priorities. If I try to do more, I end up doing less. The picture below is what my desk looks like on a typical day. As you can see I have a lot of information coming at me at one time. My paper and pen are my way of capturing what is important, slowing my brain down to write down the most critical things to be done or things to focus on.

5. Accountability Without Shame

I’ve stopped pretending I can do it all alone. As I’ve grown older I’ve become more comfortable asking questions and sharing work in flight. This practice helps me ensure that I’m not waiting until the last minute to do tasks.

6. Choosing Grace Over Guilt

Some days I still drift. I still scroll. I still feel like I got nothing done. But now I catch it sooner. I reset faster. I remind myself: one distracted hour doesn’t ruin the day. Come back. Begin again. This is the same exact practice I use with managing my weight. One bad meal doesn’t ruin the whole plan. Come back. Begin again.

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A Final Word (For Me and Maybe for You)

If you live with ADHD — or even if you just live in the modern world — distraction is a battle you’ll keep fighting.

But it’s a battle worth showing up for.

Because on the other side of distraction isn’t just productivity. It’s presence. It’s peace. It’s the quiet confidence that comes from keeping your word to yourself.

I’m not trying to be perfectly focused. I’m just trying to be more intentional — more often.

And little by little, it’s working.

And when all else fails, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

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🎧 Want to Go Deeper? Check out my weekly podcast. These episodes are real, raw, and full of honest conversations about what it really takes to change — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. You’ll find stories, strategies, and straight talk from someone who is on the same journey as you.