This may sound strange to some but there are moments when sticking to my plan makes me feel selfish. Sometimes it comes up in a choice of where we go out to eat, sometimes it rears its head when I head out for a workout while other things are going on. I have some rules that I abide by no matter what, and sometimes they run smack into all that a busy life throws at you. From tracking everything I eat and working to stay within my daily WeightWatchers points budget, to never missing more than two days in a row working out. These simple but unbreakable rules are my way of ensuring I never drift too far from my daily practice.

Feeling like I’m being selfish has come up more frequently as time has passed and people around me begin to take my weight loss for granted. Just this past weekend I was with my mom and I showed her one of the THEN and NOW pictures I’ve posted here. She looked at the picture and said, “I had no idea you used to be that big.” That really brought it home for me. People forget, I sometimes start to forget and that’s the one thing that I simply cannot allow.

A lot of this perspective is tightly coupled to an issue I covered in this week’s podcast where I discuss how there is no real end to this journey–even though others may think at some point you’ll be ‘done.’

If you’re on a weight loss journey, maybe you’ve had moments where you’ve wondered, Am I being selfish? Maybe you’ve turned down an invitation to eat out, asked a loved one not to bring tempting foods into the house, or prioritized your workouts over social plans. The truth is, prioritizing your health isn’t selfish—it’s actually quite the opposite. Let me explain a bit. When I look at pictures of me before all of this I actually see the way I was living was selfish.

I was literally eating myself to death, my blood pressure was off the charts, my cholesterol as well, and being morbidly obese was wreaking havoc with my joints. I can’t imagine what it was doing to my heart etc. To carry on living this way was only going to result in one outcome–me not being part of the picture at all. There are certainly no guarantees in life, but I wanted to at least give myself a fighting chance of being able to see my kids grow up and begin families of their own.

From being able to do things I simply couldn’t before, to getting to a place where I no longer needed drugs to maintain my blood pressure and cholesterol, I’m focusing on my health so I can be there for them. If you’re feeling that selfish feeling remind yourself, and those around you, that your efforts, while focused on you, are all about being able to be present in your life, and trying to be around for as long as possible.

Some Hard Truths

Don’t Make Your Success Dependent on Others

It can be easy to point the blame at those around us when we struggle. Maybe your partner keeps bringing home fast food, or your coworkers stock the break-room with sweets. But ultimately, your weight loss is your responsibility. No one else can do the work for you, and no one else is obligated to change their habits to accommodate yours. Expecting others to be responsible for your success only leads to frustration and resentment.

This Is YOUR Journey

Your journey is yours alone, and while support is great, the people around you have their own lives to live. They shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for enjoying foods that don’t align with your plan or for not adjusting their schedule to match yours. That doesn’t mean they don’t care—it just means they have their own priorities. Your success should not depend on them. It is also important to remember not to judge others if they don’t adopt your approach. Each of us has to make our own choices. Think how you feel when someone tries to TELL you that you should do something. If you find yourself passing judgement on others be careful you may be suffering from the overconfident “I got this” syndrome.

It’s Not Selfish to Stick to Your Plan

If you had a medical condition that required you to take a medication each day, you wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Your health and well-being matter, and committing to your goals doesn’t make you selfish. Sticking to your plan shows discipline, self-respect, and a commitment to your future. Remind others around you that while your path may not be convenient all the time you are working to be your best version of yourself so you can be there for them.

If others don’t understand, that’s okay—it’s not their journey to take.

It Is OK To Have Clear Non-Negotiables

One of the best ways to stay committed is to establish non-negotiables. These are the things you won’t compromise on, no matter the situation. Maybe it’s exercising a certain number of times per week, meal prepping on Sundays, or skipping alcohol at social events. Having clear, firm boundaries makes it easier to stay on track and removes the need for constant decision-making.

You Cannot Control How Others Respond To Your Efforts

Not everyone will support your choices. Some may feel uncomfortable, annoyed, or even offended by your commitment to change. Remember, they are accustomed to your old patterns and just like it takes time for you to change, it will take time for them to accept that you have made permanent changes in your life. You cannot control how others respond to your journey, but you can control how you react. Stay focused, remind yourself why you started, and keep pushing forward.

The Bottom Line

Prioritizing yourself and your health is not selfish—it’s selfless. You don’t need permission to take care of yourself, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Your weight loss journey is about you, and the sooner you let go of guilt and external expectations, the more successful you’ll be.