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Am I Too Old? Why It’s Never Too Late to Take Back Your Health and Life

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Here’s the truth that most people avoid saying out loud: getting older can make change feel impossible. You know how it goes. Your schedule is packed. The weight doesn’t come off the way it did in your twenties. Your body doesn’t bounce back like it used to, and you start hearing that little voice in your head that whispers, “Maybe this is just who I am now.”

Here’s a little insight, that voice is lying to you. The truth is more like this…

It’s never too late to start and you may be surprised by what you are capable of.

When I started my weight loss journey I was 45 years old. I had high blood pressure and off the charts cholesterol. I had sleep issues both sleep apnea and insomnia. I had anxiety and un-diagnosed ADHD that made it almost impossible for me to sit still for long and focus and when I got overtired it would trigger outright panic attacks. I had ‘managed’ all of this my whole life silently, assuming I could tough it out, but it was exhausting.

I’m now 53 years old and the only thing I regret is not facing down all of these issues sooner. I’m glad to be where I am now but looking back I let far too many years go by being less than I could have been. BUT the real message is that I did take on these issues; from losing over 100 lbs to dealing with the anxiety and restlessness that had plagued me my entire life.

I’m not saying it’ll be easy. I’m saying it’s worth it. You are worth it — even now, especially now. Whether you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, you have the power to take control of your weight and your life. This isn’t a motivational poster. This is your wake-up call.

The “Used To” Trap

I was becoming the UsedToGuy. That’s where this entire site, podcast, and journey started. I used to be athletic. I used to have more energy. I used to be confident. I used to care. Then life hit. Careers. Bills. Chronic Illness. Ignoring the truth and saying “tomorrow” to just about everything. Eventually, I stopped even making promises to myself, because I didn’t believe I’d keep them.

If you’re there now — feeling like you’re past your prime, like you can feel it slipping away — I get it. But I also know this: the story’s not over unless you stop writing it. “Used to” doesn’t have to be your final chapter. It can be your turning point.

Age Is a Number — But So Is 1%

You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. You don’t need a perfect streak. You need small, steady change — just 1% better each day. That’s it.

-One more glass of water.
-One fewer fast food meal.
-One short walk around the block.
-One choice to go to bed instead of binging another episode on Netflix.
-One step to track everything you eat.

That’s where it starts.

1% may not sound like much, but stacked over time, it compounds into something real. Into turns into results. Into builds confidence. Into creates momentum.

What’s Really Holding You Back

We blame age. We blame metabolism. We blame time. But the truth? The biggest obstacle is usually our own mindset. The belief that we missed our shot. That if we can’t be perfect, it’s not worth trying.

An illustration of a man pulling heavy suitcases labeled 'Fear,' 'Guilt,' 'Shame,' and 'Regret,' symbolizing the emotional burdens we carry.


But here’s what I’ve learned: perfection is a lie. Nobody lives there. And waiting to “feel ready” is just procrastination dressed up as patience. The people who succeed don’t wait to feel ready — they move anyway. They fail forward. They start scared and build from there.

That’s where real change begins: when you start doing the work before you believe you can. And over time, your body — and your belief — starts to catch up.

The Physical Shift Is Just the Beginning

Maintaining my weight loss certainly matters to me, it’s improved my energy, my mood, my relationships with myself and those around me. But this journey has become about far more than shedding pounds. It’s about reclaiming control. About proving that I’m still capable of change. That I am nowhere near finished. I’ve learned that my health, my mindset, my habits and my identity are all still within my control.

Now, when I call myself the UsedToGuy it makes me think of the way things used to be before making these changes. So even my little nickname has totally changed, from something that made me think of once being who I wanted to be once upon a time to once being someone who was letting it all slip away.

When you start moving again, eating better, sleeping well, and saying “yes” to yourself, you’ll notice something amazing: it spills over into everything. You stop tolerating the stuff that used to drain you. You start dreaming again. You speak up more. You feel grounded in your body. You realize you have agency — and that can change everything.

Start Here. Start Small. Start Anyway.

If you’re wondering where to begin, here’s a simple truth: it doesn’t matter. It only matters that you do. You can refine the plan as you go. But the most powerful decision is to stop waiting and start walking forward. Literally and metaphorically.

Some simple things you can do starting right now.

  • Commit to 15 minutes of movement every day — no matter what.
  • Eat protein at every meal — it fuels you more than you think.
  • Drink half your body weight in ounces of water — it’s a game-changer.
  • Go to bed 30 minutes earlier — your energy depends on it.
  • Track your food for one week — not to shame yourself, but to learn.

Most importantly, stop saying you’ll start Monday. Start today. Start right now. Read this post, stand up, stretch, and make a choice your future self will thank you for. Not because you hate where you are — but because you finally believe it doesn’t have to stay this way.

The Real Reward

This isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to yourself. The version of you who’s strong, clear-headed, self-respecting, and present. The version of you who’s not always tired, anxious, or stuck in shame. The version of you who walks into a room and knows exactly who they are — and what they’re capable of.

You don’t need to rewind the clock. You just need to take control of the one you’re holding now.

You’re Not Done Yet

If you’re still breathing, there’s still time. If your heart is still beating, you still have a say in how your story ends. Don’t waste another month — or another minute — waiting for the ideal conditions. You don’t need a blank slate. You just need a willingness to keep turning the page.

You’re not too old. You’re just getting started. Let’s go.

🎧 Tune In to the UsedToGuy Podcast

If this message hit home for you, I dive deeper into all of this on the Keep Moving Forward Podcast. Every week, we talk about real transformation — physical, mental, emotional. No hype, no filters, just honest stories and hard-won wisdom.

Listen on your commute. On your walk. While making dinner. Subscribe, leave a review, and share the show with someone who needs to hear that it’s not too late for them, either.

Because change doesn’t belong to the young. It belongs to the ready.

Keep Moving Forward!

Restart Your Weight Loss Journey: Overcoming Setbacks

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Introduction

One of my biggest fears is falling off the weight loss wagon and gaining back all of the weight. There’s a big part of me that can’t imagine starting all over again. I even have nightmares where I’ve gained all the weight back and can’t figure out how to lose it. I’ve had my weight loss ups and downs over the years and each time I let my guard down the weight, and related health issues, came back with a vengeance. Now that I’m in my 50’s my fear is that if I gained it all back I would simply be too defeated to start again.

Here’s another spectacular AI creation. I like that both the guy who is waking up from the nightmare and the guy in the nightmare are both horrified. The dude in the dream is also radiating some kind of energy.



Failing at weight loss can be disheartening, but remember, it’s okay to stumble! The key is to get back on track with renewed determination. Whether it’s a busy schedule, stress-eating, or simply losing motivation, these setbacks can happen to anyone. But don’t worry; starting over doesn’t mean failure. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity for growth and discovery. In today’s post, we’ll explore strategies to help you restart your weight loss journey successfully, and discuss some strategies for transforming setbacks into stepping stones.

Are you ready to reclaim your path to healthier living? Let’s dive in!

Understanding Your Setback

As we’ve discussed many times, embarking on a weight loss journey is a personal and often challenging task. If you’re like most of us, this probably isn’t your first run at losing weight. Maybe you had success for a while and kept the weight off for some time only to see the old habits, and weight, creep back. I know this feeling all too well and how hopeless things can seem.

For me, thinking about the process of having to start losing weight all over again is like the story of Sisyphus who receives the wrath of Zeus and is forced to push a rock up a hill every day only to see it roll back down to the bottom where he begins again the next day. He’s also doomed to do this for all eternity.

Why Weight Loss Efforts Fail (And How to Fix It)

Losing weight is simple in theory — but in reality, it can feel like an endless cycle of effort and disappointment. If you’ve ever struggled to reach your goals, you’re not alone. Let’s break down some of the most common reasons weight loss efforts fail — and what you can do to turn things around.

1. Unrealistic Goals

Setting huge, rapid targets can lead to frustration. Focus on steady, sustainable progress instead of dramatic transformations overnight.

2. Inconsistent Eating Habits

Eating well Monday through Friday and then overindulging on weekends can undo all your hard work. Consistency matters more than perfection.

3. Not Tracking Food Intake

It’s easy to underestimate how much you’re eating. Tracking meals — even loosely — can help you stay aware and accountable. For me this is continues to be key to keeping things going. 

4. Relying Only on Exercise

Exercise is important, but weight loss starts in the kitchen. It’s hard to “out-run” a bad diet. I’ve tried this in the past and was in the middle of training for a marathon years ago when I came down with a really bad bout of diverticulitis.  I went to a surgeon to see if surgery might help and we were talking about running.  Once I took off my shirt he said, “You can run will a big belly like this?”  I never did run that marathon.  

5. Emotional Eating

Food can become a coping mechanism for stress, boredom, or even celebration. Recognizing emotional triggers is key to managing them. I am an emotional eater.  It is one of my coping mechanisms.  I try to maintain awareness when I start grabbing little handfuls of snacks and make sure I log everything to keep me honest.  

6. Lack of Sleep

Ok, so full disclosure, up until I got some medication this year I almost NEVER slept more than 4-5 hours a night.  I would ‘solve problems’ while I laid there and watched hours and hours of Netflix on my Kindle.  Since getting some help I now understand the value of a good nights sleep.  Poor sleep disrupts hunger hormones and increases cravings. Aim for 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night.

7. All-or-Nothing Mindset

One “bad” meal doesn’t ruin your progress — unless you let it spiral into a bad day or week. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

8. Skipping Meals

Skipping meals can lead to intense hunger and overeating later. I try to ensure I have breakfast every day.  It’s usually the same thing-an egg beater omelette with fat free cheddar cheese on top of a olde tyme low carb english muffin.  I find that keeping balanced, regular meals helps me make better choices.

9. Overestimating Calorie Burn

It’s easy to think you’re burning more calories than you actually are. Be cautious about using exercise as an excuse to overeat.  I don’t ever count calories from exercise into the weight loss equation.  For me, I stick to the WW points for each day and let any exercise be an additional benefit.  

10. Choosing Unsustainable Diets

I’ve said this a lot but extreme, restrictive diets can work short-term but are nearly impossible to maintain. Find an approach you can stick with long-term. 

11. Not Enough Protein

Protein helps you feel full and supports metabolism. Make sure you’re including enough in your meals.  For me it’s critical that I have some kind of protein at dinner if I don’t want to end up hungry later on.  On those days when I don’t get enough I inevitably wake up hungry in the middle of the night which also impacts #6 above.  

12. Underestimating Portions

This was especially important early on in my weight loss journey.  I had no idea what a 1/4 of a cup or 1/2 a cup of most things looked like (pro-tip: It’s probably a smaller portion than you think).  Portion sizes can creep up without you noticing. Measuring occasionally can be an eye-opener and help you visually understand how much of something you are eating.

13. Ignoring Liquid Calories

Sugary drinks, fancy coffees, and alcohol can add up quickly. Be mindful of what you drink as well as what you eat. My wife and I love coffee.  I view it as one of the indulgences that I simply won’t give up.  BUT I only use sugar free creamers and non-sugar sweetener.  

14. Not Managing Stress

If my poor sleep habits above didn’t make it clear I am very impacted by stress and anxiety.  Combining that with being an emotional eater and that’s a recipe for disaster because chronic stress boosts cortisol levels, leading to increased fat storage and cravings. Life is stressful but identifying sources of stress and working to manage those as best you can is just as important as managing food. This was one of the last pieces of the puzzle to come together for me and something I’m still getting used to managing.  

15. No Healthy Support System

Trying to go it alone can make the journey harder. My family has always been a huge supporter of my efforts, but I am careful not to make my efforts dependent on their participation.  I think it’s critical that I own my journey without depending on someone else to keep me on track or expecting others to follow my lead.  YOU are responsible for YOU–that is all.   Now, having said that, finding a group that is on the same path can make the hard days easier and serve as a source of motivation when yours is low.  

Bottom Line:
Lasting weight loss isn’t about perfection — it’s about building habits that work for your real life. Identify the roadblocks that are holding you back, and take small, practical steps to move forward. Remember, good enough is good enough.  

 

The Emotional Impact of ‘Failure’

Any time you come up short of your expectations or work hard at something only to see the results not pay off can take a toll on your confidence. Disappointment, frustration, and even shame might creep in, making it harder and harder to continue on or start again. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings as valid. They are part of the process and understanding this can empower you to move forward, rather than stay stuck in a cycle of self-blame.

Negative emotions might tempt you into abandoning your goals altogether. Instead, channel these feelings into driving your determination to succeed. Remember, each setback provides a learning opportunity and pushes you closer to finding methods and strategies that work best for you.

Embracing a Positive Mindset

Overcoming a setback starts with shifting your mindset. For me it requires putting away the fears of falling off the wagon and regaining all of the weight and instead I focus my energies on daily practice and making my weight loss a priority.  I constantly remind myself of how lucky I am that I have a process that works for me and how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by people that love me and care about my well-being.  This positive perspective fosters resilience and opens the door for sustained transformative change.

The Power of Self-Compassion

Giving yourself grace is crucial. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness, just as you would a good friend. Here’s why it matters:

– Reduces Negative Self-Talk: Self-compassion helps silence the harsh critic within, replacing it with an encouraging voice.

– Promotes Emotional Resilience: By being gentle with yourself, you can bounce back more swiftly after setbacks.

– Builds A Stronger Foundation: When you’re kinder to yourself, you foster an environment where it’s safe to try, fail, and try again.

Start cultivating self-compassion by reflecting on your achievements, no matter how small, and celebrate the efforts made along the way.

The Importance of a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is foundational to starting over in weight loss. It frames challenges not as failures but as opportunities to learn and improve. This mindset emphasizes that abilities and habits are not fixed but can be developed with dedication and time.

– Embrace Challenges: See them as opportunities to stretch and grow.

– Learn from Criticism: View feedback as a path for improvement rather than a personal attack.

– Persist Despite Setbacks: Recognize that every failure is a chance to refine your strategies and get closer to your goal.

By adopting a growth mindset, you shift focus from short-term outcomes to long-term progress, fostering an environment where perseverance becomes second nature.

In the journey of starting over after a weight loss setback, understanding why it happened and embracing a positive mindset are key. With self-compassion, realistic goals, and a growth mindset, you’re well on your way to successful weight management. Remember, every step forward counts and each new day offers a fresh start.

Building a Sustainable Plan

When it comes to weight loss, the idea of starting over can seem daunting. However, by focusing on building a sustainable plan, those previous failures can be stepping stones toward a healthier and happier you. Let’s break it down.

1. Assessing Your Previous Strategy

Before you embark on a new weight loss journey, take some time to review what worked and what didn’t in your past attempts. Did you create goals that were too ambitious? Did you follow a diet plan that wasn’t enjoyable or practical? Were there external factors, like stress, that contributed to setbacks? Identifying these elements will help you craft a more realistic and effective approach this time around.

Consider journaling about your past experiences. Look for recurring patterns or specific triggers that led to challenges. This reflection can provide valuable insights that guide you toward a strategy that’s better suited for long-term success.

2. Celebrating Small Wins

No achievement is too small to be celebrated. Recognizing your progress can keep your spirits high and determination strong. Here’s how to relish those small victories:

– Track milestones: Use a journal or a planner to record your accomplishments, be it losing a pound, resisting an unhealthy snack, or sticking to your workout schedule.

– Reward yourself: Whenever you reach a mini-goal, treat yourself. It doesn’t have to be extravagant – perhaps a cozy movie night, a new book, or a fun day out with friends.

By acknowledging these wins, you’ll remain focused and motivated throughout your journey.

3. Establishing a Support System

Surrounding yourself with the right people can make all the difference. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community group, having support can provide the encouragement and accountability you need.

– Reach out: Share your goals with someone you trust. Their support can be invaluable on tough days.

– Join groups: Look for local exercise meet-ups or online forums where you can connect with others on a similar journey. Sharing experiences, challenges, and successes can create a sense of camaraderie.

Building a strong support system is like creating a safety net that helps catch you when things get tough, making it easier to rise again.

Starting over after a weight loss failure can feel daunting, but with a practical plan and reignited motivation, you’re setting yourself up for success. Embrace the journey with grace, patience, and determination, and remember – you’ve got this!

Conclusion

Starting over in your weight loss journey after a setback isn’t the end of the world—it’s actually a chance for a fresh start. Embrace the lessons from your failures and approach your goals with a renewed mindset. Remember, every day is a new opportunity to make healthier choices. Stay kind to yourself, and celebrate small victories along the way. With resilience and determination, successful weight management is within your reach. Keep pushing forward—you’ve got this!

Burn The Boats: Fully Committing to Change

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How to Make Transformation Non-Negotiable

As I’ve reflected on the key elements that have been key for me in creating sustainable habits one of the recurring themes is that I have refused to go back to the old mindsets and behaviors that led me to weighing over 300 lbs. I know I’ve mentioned it a few times, but it bears repeating, having some things that are not optional is really important. It takes how you’re feeling out of the equation and the more you stick to those ‘rules’ the more they become personal ‘laws.’ There are a couple of good metaphors for this from ‘burning the boats’ (details below) to ‘locking the door behind you’ to ‘closing a chapter’ or ‘cutting the cord.’

When Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés arrived in the New World in 1519, he ordered his men to burn the boats they arrived on. His message was brutal and clear: retreat is not an option. They were going forward, or they were going to die trying. Before anyone calls me out. I’m no supporter of Cortés or his mission or the horrible impact their colonization had on the Aztec Empire–they probably should have gotten on the boats and just went home. It’s also a shame that burning the boats didn’t eliminate the small pox they brought with them.

What is important about this metaphor is the act of total commitment, with complete resolve and determination. The name of my podcast, Keep Moving Forward is a testament to my simple belief that no matter what life throws at you, you put one foot in front of the other and march on. This concept means so much to me I have it tattooed on the inside of my left arm where it reminds me every day of how to approach any challenge that comes my way.

I’m sure for most folks reading this you’ve probably tried to take on hard challenges in your own life. For those looking to lose weight, maybe you’ve tried before. You’ve dipped a toe into weight loss, self-discipline, or redefining your life. But if you’re being honest… you probably ‘left the boats in the harbor.’ Just in case.

The truth? To achieve real, and lasting change it has to be non-negotiable.

🚪 Why We Keep an Escape Hatch

The human brain loves safety and certainty. Even when the status quo sucks, it’s familiar. That’s why we keep our options open when trying to change. Maybe some of these behaviors will sound familiar:

  • We “start Monday” because we want the weekend to have one last ‘food fling.’
  • We save keep the junk food lurking around “just in case.”
  • Even when we’ve made significant progress we do things like keeping all of our old clothes around ‘just in case.’ I did this for years until I ran out of room so I kept a few things and donated the rest.

These are mental escape hatches, not actual strategies. We’re negotiating with ourselves before we’ve even started.

Transformation doesn’t happen through negotiation. It happens through decision, commitment and repetition. I know this sounds like an aggressive approach and in some ways I suppose it is. But don’t confuse the kind of grit it takes to show up every day with anger or aggression. To be effective this kind of determination needs to be balanced with grace and acceptance.

🔥 What It Means to Burn The Boats

Burning the boats means more than downloading a food-tracking app or starting a new gym program. It means fully letting go of the identity, habits, and excuses that have kept you from making lasting change. It means deciding:

“This is who I am now—and there’s no turning back.”

🔄 The Difference Between Trying and Deciding

When people say “I’m trying to lose weight,” they’ve already built in the option to fail. Trying means you haven’t fully decided.

What if you changed your language to:

  • “I am someone who works out.”
  • “I don’t eat foods that make me feel like crap.”
  • “I don’t miss workouts—because they’re non-negotiable.”

You can’t act inconsistent with your identity for long. So shift who you are—not just what you do.

🧠 5 Real-World Ways to Burn the Boats

Let’s get specific. Here’s how to put this into motion today:

1. Declare It Publicly

Tell someone what you’re doing. Post it. Share it on your podcast, your social, your group chat. Accountability raises the stakes and solidifies identity.

Pro tip: Post a screenshot of this article and tag @usedtoguy if you’re ready to burn your boats.

2. Change Your Environment

Your space should match your goals. Throw out the junk, reorganize your fridge, keep your gym clothes where you see them. Change your surroundings to reflect the life you’re building.

3. Build a System of Accountability

You can’t white-knuckle your way through life change. You need a system. Track your progress, check in weekly, and get someone to call you out when you drift.

Check out some of my ‘cheat sheets’ if you want some visual references you can print, download and keep in places you look at often (the fridge door is a good place).

5. Embrace Discomfort as Progress

Discomfort isn’t a sign something’s wrong—it’s the cost of admission to your new life. You’re not supposed to feel “ready.” As I noted last week those feels of being out of your comfort zone are signs that you’re leaving the comfort of your past. They’re the signs that you’re doing something right, not doing something wrong.

Final Thoughts

We romanticize transformation like it’s this big inspirational moment. But in real life, it looks a lot more like this:

You make a scary decision.
You get uncomfortable.
You show up anyway.
Then you do it again tomorrow.

Your old life? That one full of “used to” habits and half-efforts? It’ll always be there, waiting to take you back.

So burn the boats. Blow up the bridge. Go all in.

You’re not trying. You’re becoming.
And the only way out—is through.

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

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Real growth is uncomfortable because it requires change and that can’t happen in your comfort zone. If it did, we’d all be fit, fulfilled, and fearless by now. But the truth is, if making changes makes you feel a little (or a lot) uncomfortable—it’s probably a sign that you’re heading in the right direction. I’m not talking about pain–you can overdo a thing. I’m talking about pushing yourself to do things and accomplish goals that make you stretch what you think you are capable of mentally and physically.

I absolutely hate having wet feet, but our little friend here is super happy standing in that puddle. I just hope he doesn’t get hit by one of those giant raindrops! We should all be so happy being uncomfortable.

I know nobody wants to hear that you have to deliberately challenge yourself. We want transformation to feel good all the time. Our commercial culture also makes it seem like big changes should be a cake walk. We want progress without pressure. But that’s not how it works. It’s more l like how diamonds are formed, and no they do NOT come from coal.

Diamonds form deep in the Earth’s mantle, about 90 to 150 miles (150–240 km) underground, under extremely high pressure and temperature. The key ingredients are:

Carbon: The basic element in both coal and diamonds.
Pressure: Around 725,00 pounds per inch
Temperature: About 2,000°F
Time: It takes between 1-3 BILLION

Carbon atoms under these extreme conditions form into a crystalline structure. They are eventually forced to the surface through volcanic eruptions and require special lava called kimberlite or lamproite, which cools quickly and preserves the diamond crystals.

As I’ve progressed on my journey I’ve had to constantly find ways to stay uncomfortable to keep my journey on track. I know this sounds counterintuitive but bear with me.

Living a Life of Ease

The “UsedToGuy” version of me wanted things to be easy. That comfort was familiar, unchallenging, and numbing. It was the extra food, no thought of working out, the mindset of “I’ll start next week.” It was avoiding the difficult. It was autopilot. But that comfort was also keeping me stuck, and it was making me sick and miserable.

Living a life of ease sounds ideal at first glance—no stress, no struggle—but it can carry some unexpected dangers if it’s not balanced. Here are a few of the biggest risks:

Loss of Purpose
When life is too easy, you might stop striving toward goals or developing a sense of direction. Without challenges, it’s easy to feel adrift or unmotivated.

Mental & Emotional Stagnation
Struggle and adversity help build resilience, creativity, and empathy. Without those experiences, emotional growth can stall. You may find it harder to relate to others or deal with unexpected difficulties.

Shutting Down Learning New Skills
When everything is handed to you or goes smoothly, you might miss out on learning key problem-solving or interpersonal skills. This can leave you unprepared when life does inevitably present obstacles.

Dependency & Entitlement
A life of consistent ease can foster a mindset of entitlement, where you expect comfort without effort. It can also create dependence on systems or people that maintain that ease—if they’re removed, you’re left vulnerable.

Lack Of Gratitude
Ease can dull your appreciation for the good things in life. Struggles give contrast; they make the highs feel high. Without lows, even the good can start to feel ordinary or dull.

Why Discomfort Is a Sign You’re Growing

Here’s the thing: discomfort is data. It’s your body and mind saying, “Hey, we’re doing something new here.” That’s not a threat—it’s a signpost. That resistance? That’s the threshold of growth. The place where the change starts to happen.

When you challenge your muscles at the gym, they burn.
When you change your eating habits, your cravings scream.
When you set boundaries, people might push back.
When you choose the present over who you used to be, your ego resists.

Learning to Sit in the Discomfort

You don’t have to love being uncomfortable—but you do need to recognize it for what it is: progress in motion.

Here’s how I handle it now:

  • I name it. “This feels hard because it’s new. Not because it’s wrong.”
  • I don’t numb it. I used to avoid discomfort or try to numb it with food. Now, I lean into it.
  • I remember the journey. My goal isn’t to avoid hard things. My goal is to become someone who can handle them.

You don’t grow or learn by being comfortable all the time. You grow and learn by choosing what’s right over what’s convenient, what is difficult over what is easy. And being able to do it again and again.


From “Used To” to “What’s Next”

If you’re feeling uncomfortable today—physically, mentally, emotionally—pause before you label it as failure. It might just be the sign that you’re not the living in your comfort zone anymore. .

You’re becoming someone who does the thing anyway.
The person who leans into difficult tasks instead of avoiding them.
The person who knows discomfort isn’t the enemy—it’s how you build the next version of you.

So if it feels uncomfortable right now… good.

You’re doing it right.

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

/ UsedToGuy / Leave a comment

Greetings from Las Vegas! This week I’m traveling for work, which used to be a pretty standard affair for me but since COVID I have not been on an airplane, which seems kinda crazy because I used to take 2-3 business trips a month in the past.

Any muscle you don’t exercise regularly will get weaker, and my ‘travel muscle’ has definitely atrophied over the past 5 years. Having to prep for this trip really made it clear to me that I’m very used to my routine. What I eat, when I exercise, I’m a creature of habit, which if you’ve been reading along should come as no surprise. I’m all about habits.

But, sometimes it can be good to stress test things and taking this trip will certainly provide a great opportunity to test out the plan. I know this week won’t be typical. It already isn’t going according to the plan. My flight was in the air much longer than it was supposed to be because we had to fly around a giant storm in the middle of the US. So I landed late, then I had to wait for my bag, then get a taxi, then check in at the hotel which took longer than it should have because my room key didn’t work–I know poor me.

As I write this I am waiting for room service after a 12 hour travel day, it’s 8 PM here but feels like 11 to me. So here I sit waiting for a meal that will most certainly put me over my points for the day at a time when I’m normally asleep. Not an ideal start but tomorrow is a new day. I’ll regroup and try plan things out a bit better.

Here are some tactics you can use to help stay the course when you’re out of your element.

1. Plan Ahead (But Be Prepared to Pivot)

One of the biggest keys to success is preparation. Before your trip, research healthy dining options around where you’re staying. I find that I have the most control of breakfast and lunch because I can usually go get these meals by myself. I try to keep breakfast as healthy and close to what I do at home as possible. Scrambled eggs, some wheat toast will do it for me. Lunch I try to find somewhere to get a Turkey Sandwich or turkey wrap, something with protein to keep me fuller longer.

Dinner is a different story. These are typically team events and I don’t get to choose where we go. I try to manage these as best as I can by reviewing the menu ahead of time so I have a game plan when I get there.

I always pack my workout gear and try to get in a workout at least half of the days I travel. This time I’ll be gone for 5 days so I’ll try to workout twice. If it doesn’t happen I don’t beat myself up, but I at least come with an intention and everything I need to remove excuses.

If heading the the hotel gym isn’t your thing you can pack resistance bands and workout in your room or if you’re staying somewhere really walkable you can go exploring and get some exercise at the same time. I have often gone on little ‘exploration runs’ around the areas where I’m staying just to check things out.

2. Stay Hydrated

Traveling often leads to dehydration, which can sometimes be mistaken for hunger. Carry a reusable water bottle and make it a habit to drink water consistently throughout the day. Not only will it help with digestion, but it can also keep cravings in check. If you’re flying, remember that airplane cabins can be very dry, so drink extra water before, during, and after your flight.

Pro Tip: Brita makes these really nice bottles with built in filters so you don’t end up with stomach issues from strange water.

3. Make The Smartest Choices Possible

It’s easy to indulge when you’re out of town, but balance is key. Aim for protein-rich meals with vegetables and healthy fats. Skip the fries if you can and go for a baked potato with all the goodies on the side so you can control how much you put on. If you’re at a restaurant, check the menu ahead of time and opt for grilled, baked, or steamed options instead of fried foods.

Another great strategy is portion control. Restaurant meals often come in large portions, so consider splitting a dish and don’t be afraid to leave something behind. I know it’s wasteful, but unless you really plan on eating that leftover dinner in your hotel room you’re probably not going to eat it. If you do decide to indulge in a treat, enjoy it mindfully without guilt, and balance it out with healthier choices throughout the day.

4. Keep Moving

Just because you’re traveling doesn’t mean you can’t get some activity in. Walk as much as possible, use hotel gyms, do bodyweight exercises in your room, or try an active excursion like hiking, biking, or swimming. Even short movement breaks can help maintain momentum in your weight loss journey.

If your schedule is packed, look for creative ways to stay active. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk to meetings instead of taking a cab, or do a quick hotel-room workout in the morning. Even stretching or doing yoga can help you stay energized and keep your body feeling good.

If you’re at a big conference like I am this week you should be able to book a ton of steps just by walking the exhibit hall. Most times these place are enormous so you can really log some miles just strolling the booths and talking to different vendors.

5. Be Mindful of Alcohol Consumption

Vacations and business trips often include social events where drinks are flowing. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, alcohol can pack on unnecessary calories and lower your willpower with food choices. If you decide to drink, stick to lower-calorie options like vodka with some low calorie mixer and alternate with glasses of water.

Another tip is to set a limit for yourself before you start drinking. Decide in advance how many drinks you’ll have, and pace yourself by sipping slowly. You can also opt for mocktails or sparkling water with lime if you want to keep a drink in hand without the added calories.

6. Get Enough Sleep

Lack of sleep can lead to increased cravings and poor decision-making when it comes to food. Make sleep a priority, even when you’re traveling. Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and avoid too much caffeine or screen time before bed. If you’re changing time zones, gradually adjust your sleeping and eating schedule leading up to your trip to minimize jet lag.

If you struggle to sleep in hotels, consider bringing earplugs, an eye mask, or a white noise app to create a comfortable sleeping environment. A well-rested body makes it much easier to stick to healthy habits.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

If you do slip up, don’t let one indulgence derail your entire trip. Instead of feeling guilty, get back on track with your next meal and movement session. Progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistency over time. Travel should be enjoyable, and part of that enjoyment can include food. The key is to make sure indulgences are intentional rather than mindless.

Final Thoughts

Your weight loss journey doesn’t have to be put on hold just because you’re traveling. By planning ahead, making mindful choices, and staying active, you can maintain your progress and still enjoy your trip. Remember, it’s all about balance and long-term habits, not short-term perfection. Keep pushing forward, no matter where life takes you!

Every trip is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and how to navigate different situations while staying committed to your goals. So pack your bags, stay mindful, and Keep Moving Forward!

Internal vs. External Motivation: The Key to Lasting Weight Loss Success

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What Drives You?

When it comes to weight loss, fitness, and personal growth, motivation is the fuel that keeps us going. But not all motivation is created equal. Understanding the differences and finding a balance between the two can help you harness the right kind of drive to reach your goals and sustain long-term success. Finding ways to tap into both as you move through your journey is key, because sometimes YOU are all you need and sometimes you just aren’t feeling it and you need some help from those around you. In today’s post we’re going to discuss how balancing internal and external motivators can act a a safety net on your journey helping to move forward when things get rough.

OMG, so I used up my daily limit of ChatGPT images trying to get it to give me an image that portrayed the balance between internal and external motivation. Then I went to Microsoft Designer and here’s what it generated when asked to produce an image that captured external and internal motivation and weight loss. Usually I can find some way to tie this craziness in but today I’m at a loss. Do you feel like an alarm clock full of guts? That’s your internal motivation. Feel like an alarm clock full of vegetables and a cute little piggy that’s apparently about to get sliced up by a tape measure knife? Maybe you’re externally motivated.
Clearly the concept of motivation is difficult to express.

Internal Motivation: The Fire Within

Internal (or intrinsic) motivation comes from within—it’s driven by personal values, desires, and the satisfaction of achieving something for its own sake. This type of motivation is powerful because it’s deeply rooted in what truly matters to you.

Why Internal Motivation is Powerful

One of the biggest benefits of internal motivation is that it isn’t reliant on external circumstances. When you’re driven by internal factors, you don’t need constant validation, reminders, or rewards to stay on track. You simply want to do it because it makes you feel good and aligns with your goals.

Some Examples of Internal Motivation

  • You work out because it makes you feel good and energized.
  • You eat healthy because you genuinely enjoy how it improves your well-being.
  • You strive for weight loss because you want to be your best self, not for anyone else’s approval.
  • You wake up early to exercise because you enjoy the quiet time and self-improvement.
  • You track your progress not to show off but to measure personal growth.

Internal motivation leads to sustainable habits because it isn’t dependent on outside factors. It’s all about your own sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Sustaining Internal Motivation

Maintaining any sort of motivation over the long-haul can certainly be a challenge.  For me, internal motivation comes in two big forms.

  1. Long-term visioning — I mentioned in my last post how I create mental pictures of myself in an ideal future.  Just picturing finishing a race, or hitting a weight goal really helps me on those days when I’m not ‘feeling it.’
  2. At the other end of the spectrum I find internal motivation useful on a daily basis. Whether it’s working my diet plan each day or making the commitment to exercise, I try to keep my daily engagement high by thinking about how my small actions today can impact my results tomorrow.

External Motivation: The Outside Push

External (or extrinsic) motivation comes from outside influences—whether it’s praise, rewards, competition, or even fear of consequences. While external motivation can be a great jumpstart, it’s often less reliable for long-term change unless it eventually shifts to internal motivation.

When External Motivation Works

External motivation is often what gets people started. Maybe you saw a picture of yourself and didn’t like what you saw, or a friend challenged you to a weight loss competition. These triggers can be powerful catalysts for change, but they need to be paired with internal motivation to sustain long-term progress.

Examples of External Motivation:

  • You exercise because your doctor told you to.
  • You’re dieting to fit into a wedding dress or suit.
  • You post progress pictures online for validation and encouragement.
  • You set weight loss goals based on a social media challenge or trend.
  • You sign up for a fitness program because your friends are doing it.

External motivation isn’t necessarily bad; in fact, it can be a great tool to get started. However, if your progress depends solely on external factors, you might struggle when those motivators disappear.

In the early days of my weight loss I received a lot of external motivation because people began to notice the change, and hearing those kind words each day provided a little push to help me stick to my diet and exercise program.  However, after the weight loss slowed down I had to lean into internal motivation more and more.  As I’ve mentioned before, eventually people just forget how you ‘used to’ be. I had to learn to lean into internal motivators to help me keep my focus. 

The Power of Community

I’ve talked a lot about how I’ve used training for races with my son and signing up for different Conqueror Challenges has helped me fill in those motivation gaps.  

Over the past couple of months I’ve relearned the power of external motivation by writing this blog and creating my Keep Moving Forward Podcast.  The response and outreach has been beyond my expectations and the sense of community I’ve felt has really provided a level of focus and motivation I have not felt in quite some time. Last month I shared this picture on a couple of FB groups I belong to. Since posting these over 2000 people have liked the posts and I’ve had comments from hundreds of people. Over the weekend the admin of one group even reached out asking if they could use some of my content for their corporate materials. Count me in on the motivation right now!

Striking a Balance

The key to lasting success is blending both types of motivation. Use external motivation as a launchpad but aim to develop internal motivation along the way.

How to Transition from External to Internal Motivation:

  1. Find Your “Why” – Dig deep and identify what truly matters to you beyond surface-level reasons. Ask yourself why you want to lose weight or improve your health beyond just looking good.
  2. Set Meaningful Goals – Focus on goals that align with your values rather than just external rewards. Instead of setting a goal to lose weight for a reunion, aim to feel stronger and healthier for life.
  3. Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge your progress and find joy in the journey, not just the destination. Recognizing progress helps shift the focus from external validation to personal fulfillment.
  4. Shift Your Mindset – Instead of seeing healthy habits as chores, view them as self-care and empowerment. Reframe exercise from being a punishment to being a privilege.
  5. Surround Yourself with the Right Influences – While external motivation can fade, being in a supportive community can help keep you accountable while reinforcing your internal drive.
  6. Track Progress in a Meaningful Way – Instead of relying on the scale alone, measure progress through non-scale victories like increased energy, better sleep, and improved strength.

Common Pitfalls in Motivation

Many people struggle with motivation because they don’t recognize when they are overly dependent on external motivators. Here are some common pitfalls:

  • Relying too much on external validation – If social media likes or compliments are the only thing keeping you going, motivation may fade when recognition stops.
  • Setting unrealistic goals – If your goals are solely based on external pressures (like losing 30 pounds in a month), you may get discouraged and quit.
  • Neglecting enjoyment – If you hate your diet or exercise routine, motivation will dwindle. Find activities and foods that you genuinely enjoy.
  • Ignoring mental health – Sometimes, lack of motivation stems from deeper emotional issues. Addressing stress, anxiety, or self-doubt can be just as important as diet and exercise.

Final Thoughts

No matter where you are in your journey, recognize that motivation fluctuates. Some days, external motivation might push you through a tough workout, while on other days, internal motivation will remind you why you started in the first place. The key is to balance both and stay committed to your goals in a way that feels sustainable.

Whether you start with external validation or internal passion, the important thing is to find a healthy balance of both. By tapping into what truly drives you, you’ll set yourself up for lasting success—not just in weight loss, but in all areas of life.

What motivates you? Share your thoughts in the comments or on the UsedToGuy podcast! Until next time, Keep Moving Forward!

The Power of Anticipation: Finding Joy in What is To Come

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In our house Christmas is a big deal. We start decorating the house as soon as the leftover Thanksgiving turkey is packed into the fridge. The last couple of years we’ve even started a little sooner. It makes us happy. But my favorite part of the holiday isn’t Christmas Day, it’s the days leading up to Christmas. All of the Christmas movies, the carols, the smell of the pine tree in then house we wallow in all of it. We have our little yearly rituals like cutting down the Christmas tree visiting the town of Jim Thorpe for their Victorian Christmas days, driving to see the lights on the boulevard in Berwick PA.

What I really love is the build up of the whole thing. To be honest Christmas day is always just a little bit sad. When the last episode of A Christmas Story ends on Christmas night it marks the ceremonial close of the holiday for another year. And while the days fly by a lot can change in a year so I’m always left wondering what everything will look like the next time we drag all of the ornaments out of the basement and go to cut down the tree.

This little AI fellow has the Christmas Crazy in his eyes. Or maybe he’s just lost it and decided to burn the whole thing up. Not sure what he’s doing with those candles in the presents. Maybe he’s been possessed by his little one-eyed stuffed dog or is it a teddybear friend. Either way, Little Damian loves Christmas!

I’ve talked a bit about how I view my weight loss as a journey. Part of what has kept me focused and positive is envisioning a future version of myself doing things that I simply didn’t do at 300 lbs. From buying clothes to running, to being more comfortable while traveling. Each day I tried to create a mental picture of that future version of myself. Those intentional daydreams gave me something to look forward to.

When one of those dreams came to fruition I’d try to capture the moment. This is a weird picture I’ll grant you. It’s from Sept 2019. I was on a plane trip for the first time in a while and I sent my wife this picture of me sitting with my legs crossed on a plane. This would simply have been unheard a year earlier.

I hate this phrase but it seems appropriate. I was ‘manifesting’ that version of me every day. I couldn’t wait to meet him. That anticipation of a future better version of me kept me moving. Now, I’ve actually become that once imaginary future version I made up in my head. Am I as perfect as what I imagined, not even close. I still have all of the struggles and faults of that old version of me. But I have done many of the things that that earlier version of me envisioned, so in some ways those things did come to pass.

There are several little tricks you can use to help build anticipation and keep you on track and to break up your journey into smaller pieces.

  • Spend a few minutes each day quietly ‘daydreaming’ about a future version of you. Try to be specific; What are you doing? What are you wearing? Where are you? Paint that picture as clearly as you can. When you face moments of doubt or if you feel like you’re losing focus pull up this image in your mind. It can help remind you WHY you are doing this. Get excited about getting to meet that person one day. That anticipation can be powerful.
  • Lay out some little wins along the way and celebrate them. Prepare them ahead of time so you have something to look forward to. For example, commit that when you lose 10 lbs you’re going to buy a new shirt (buying ‘normal’ clothes was a big deal for me). It doesn’t always have to be about buying something but reward yourself–maybe not with food. Knowing that there’s something to look forward to that is not in the dim distance can help you out when you feel like you’re just not moving fast enough.
  • I’ll grant you the days can get monotonous. My wife and I have learned to build in little mini-vacations where we go away for the weekend once or twice a year. I book the trips way ahead of time (usually as Christmas presents) and we lock them down on the calendar. This gives us something to look forward to. We do the same thing with concerts and other events. Heck, some weeks just going to our favorite Mexican restaurant is an event to look forward to. Having something to look forward to on the calendar gives us something to think about when the days are long or difficult.

Pro Tip: When going to a Mexican restaurant limit yourself to 12 chips, Chicken Fajitas are your friend, share your rice with a friend and skip the refried beans. You’re on your own with the margaritas.

You can use anticipation as motivation. About a year ago I was on Facebook, doom scrolling, when an ad popped up for this thing called The Conqueror Challenges. They’re virtual ‘races’ that cover a specific distance and take place for set amount of time. You can set the number of days you want to take to complete a challenge so it can closely match how much exercise you do and what you want to track. When you complete a challenge you get a medal.

At first I thought this is kinda silly. Why would I pay to exercise every day? Who needs this kind of motivation? Well friends, my initial assessment was wrong. Janet (my wife) signed up for the London and Paris challenges and every night she’d show me where she was in each city when she logged in her daily miles. They use Google maps for a lot of the challenges so you can track where you are and even put the little Pegman on the street and walk around. Every once in a while she’d get little virtual postcards from different landmarks along the way so she was learning something about each location. And when she was done she got these really nice medals. Kinda Cool!

I was in the middle of training for my first 50K so I was putting in long hours outside just going around and around my neighborhood and I needed some short term wins. So, I signed up for one, and was hooked. Knowing I was going to sit down and log my miles at night got me out the door on days when I didn’t really feel it. Sometimes I’d go just a bit further to hit some mileage I was trying to log, and if I missed a day or two I could see the time % beginning to catch up and it would give me a little push to get out there. The anticipation of getting the next medal was also a motivator. Hey, I like bling.

Below are some screen caps from the App showing my current challenge, Vienna Austria. You can see the total distance of the challenge is 510.8 miles and I set my goal for 70 days. They have this thing called ‘headwind’ that translates your miles down to just a few so that shorter challenges take longer. I only added this for this challenge because I was logging bike miles and I didn’t want to finish the challenge in just a couple of weeks.

As for the bling, here are the medals I’ve done so far.

Please note, I’m not trying to ‘sell’ this to you and I’m not compensated by these folks in any way. These challenges have just become one of the key tools I use to build anticipation as a way to help me keep moving along my path. We’ll talk about the power of community in another post, but one of the offshoots of this is they have a very active and super supportive FaceBook group. Like everything else with me, it took a long time for me to engage with others but once I did the response, support and sense of being part of something bigger than me has been overwhelming.

Remember, anticipation can be your friend and keep you excited about your journey. Until next time, Keep Moving Forward.

It’s All So Frustrating! When Despite Your Best Efforts Things Just Don’t Go Your Way

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We’ve all been there. We work super hard at something, putting in time and effort whether it’s a hobby, a house project, something at work or exercise and weight loss, only to have the outcomes be far less than we envisioned. We’ve failed. It’s easy to throw in the towel and walk away dejected. One of the reasons so few people can stick to a weight loss plan is because it can be frustrating. I certainly have days and weeks where I feel frustrated. But I’ve tried to develop some perspectives that minimize the stress. Below are some of the key strategies I use to keep my cool when my hard work doesn’t pay off.

Another one of my lovely AI images. I asked for an image of someone who is frustrated with their weight loss efforts. I guess the tape measure is meant to somehow indicate measuring his body, but he’s in a suit and sweating or crying, or both. I have no idea what the loose change all over his desk is about or the calculator. Maybe he’s on a Zoom call at work and he’s finally lost it. Honestly, I have no idea what is going on in this picture, and it makes no sense, but I feel this dude’s frustration. So, job well done AI!

Be Patient

We live in a culture of ‘now.’ We want things quickly and easily. From ordering items from our phones to getting our groceries delivered to our door, we live in a world that values speed. One thing I had to learn along my journey is that weight loss does not operate on our timeline.

I am NOT a patient person by nature. I like to be early to events, I don’t like to wait for things (ask my wife how often the Amazon truck rolls up with some little trinket I couldn’t live without) and that lack of impulse control is certainly part of why I weighed what I did. It’s very easy to become frustrated when you put in the work and the pounds just don’t move. Nothing is more disheartening that really sticking to your plan all week and getting on the scale and have be right where it was 7 days ago, or worse having it go the wrong direction. It’s enough to make the most resilient person throw in the towel.

I see lots of folks who respond to these moments by trying to up the ante and adopt some unsustainable behaviors like, weighing in every day or trying to do stuff like skip meals or overdo exercise in the hopes that they can ‘sweat off’ that pound. Chasing this dragon is exhausting (I’ve done it) and it is unsustainable.

Play The Long Game

To avoid falling into the weekly weigh-in game keep your goals longer term. It’s great to have a goal weight, but realize that even on those weeks when the scale doesn’t move you have taken steps to take control of your life. You’ve made yourself healthier for the long haul and trust that over time the scale will cooperate–because it usually does, eventually. It took me a year to lose 100 lbs and almost another year to lose the next 25. It was slow and steady and I had some bumps along the way but I stuck to my core plan. Track what I ate and exercise. By focusing on each moment in each day I was able to stop worrying about what the scale said and I became attuned to how I felt and how my body and mind were changing. I need this plan to work for the rest of my life and this is the only way I know how to avoid the traps I’ve fallen into so many times before. As I tell folks the process for keeping the weight off is so simple and so hard…just keep doing what you’ve been doing. It’s that repetition that works and it’s that repetition that can be hard to sustain (more on that in another post).

It’s a Learning Moment…But Only If You’re Open To It

Everyone fails. Sometimes the failures are very personal and known only by us (January resolutions, exercise goals, weight loss) and sometimes they are spectacularly public (failing a class, a relationship or a job). No matter what the scope and scale of our setback each time we fall short of a goal we have a couple of ways we can respond.

  • We can fold up our tents and go home (quit).
  • We can get stubborn and dig in hoping that by doing the same things more something will change (escalation of commitment).
  • We can step back and assess our approach and see if there are any changes we can make that might make a difference (reflect and respond)

By training ourselves to reflect on moments when we feel like we have failed, we can put ourselves back in control of things. Our response is then more measured and deliberate because we’ve taken some of the emotion out of it. This can help lessen our feeling of frustration and let us quickly pivot to another approach. This is hard, I get it. But the next time you feel that frustration building call yourself out in the moment. Sometimes that alone is enough to stop the negative thoughts from taking over.

Redefine Success

If you’ve been reading along I can’t stress enough that success on your weight loss journey (and probably most things) has many dimensions. Yes, losing weight is a key metric. But so are being kind to yourself, being able to be a healthier version of you, removing guilt from your mind when you make time to take care of yourself, etc. In effect, ‘success’ is about way more than just a number on the scale. By broadening how you define success you’re not putting all of your eggs in one basket.

  • Gained a pound, but had your best workout (success)
  • Didn’t lose weight but for some reason your belt is down a notch (success)
  • Scale didn’t budge but someone mentioned that you look good (success)
  • Haven’t lost anything in a week but your Dr told you your blood pressure was better (success)

You get the idea.

Lead with Forgiveness & Honesty

I say this a lot but it’s really important to be forgiving. That doesn’t mean to make excuses for yourself, that’s where the honesty comes in. You WILL have bad days, you WILL have bad weeks…The key is to be honest and aware when you’re not keeping your promise to yourself. In that moment don’t beat yourself up. Instead, you can tell yourself it is ok, but from that moment forward recommit.

I really hope your week is going well and until we chat again…Keep Moving Forward

Two Roads Diverged: Staying Agile On Your Weight Loss Journey

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As I neared the one year mark in my weight loss journey I had dropped around 100 lbs. I was really in a zone with my eating program but I was starting to get an itch to do more. I could feel that long lost version of me waking up and wanting to start adding in some exercise. I would see a winding road and wonder what it would feel like to run down it. I live near a lake and I began to see myself running along the roads along it’s shores with the autumn leaves falling around me. I was reaching a crossroads and I wasn’t sure if I should mix things up or stay the course.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could”

~Robert Frost

For most of my readers it probably seems like it should be a no-brainer to add in exercise. After all isn’t that usually part of the whole package DIET & EXERCISE? I certainly understood that adding in exercise would be good for my joints, muscles and cardiovascular health. I had also likely lost some muscle along with fat as I dropped pounds. But, I was really scared to change anything. I was worried I’d sabotage my efforts. I feared falling prey to my usual pitfalls:

  • Would adding in exercise throw my diet off? Either because I was more hungry or because I started to tell myself I could eat what I wanted because I’d worked out.
  • Could I handle having two points of focus (diet and exercise)
  • Would I overdo it like I always did and end up injured or sick?

I was coming to the first of many crossroads in my journey. Would I stay on the well-worn path or ‘scratch the itch’ and pick a new path and choose to add in exercise? I decided to trust how I was feeling and made the decision to add running to my program right with the promise that I’d only start once I hit one year mark and not before.

It gave me a few weeks to put together a plan and lay down some self-imposed ‘rules’ that would guide the next phase of my journey. When the day came to head out for my first ‘run’ I took those first steps with these promises in place:

  • I would not track how far or fast I ran.
  • I would not ‘compete’ with myself by trying to run faster every day or farther every week.
  • I would make sure I was getting joy out of running.
  • I would start out slow and make sure I was taking walking breaks.
  • I would not put pressure on myself to run a certain number of days each week. If I went every day, great, if not no sweat.
  • I would ensure that my diet program would remain the focus with running just being a supplement.

With these ‘rules’ set I started to head out day at lunch time. When I traveled I packed my running gear and would either go to the hotel gym or run outside if I was staying somewhere with a good place to run. At the time I would head to Ipswich MA, where the headquarters for the company I was working for were located. I had a great time running through the local cemeteries with headstones dating back to the 1600’s. I’d even stop and take pictures because running was all about exploration and fun.

  • Nothing makes you more aware of your mortality than exercising in a cemetary.


I kept on like this through the winter and into the Spring. I was really loving adding running I had even lost a little more weight while adding some muscle to my legs. I was feeling good and cruising along. Here’s a picture I took on March 11, 2020 (the day that COVID was declared a global pandemic). The guy in the picture below had no idea what was about to happen in the world or in his life.


We’ll talk more about setbacks and challenges on Wednesday but sometimes just when we think we have it all together life can hand us a change of plans. Some key takeaways for today.

  • Keeping things simple is key.
  • An agile mindset goes a long way towards ensuring you can stick with things for the long haul.
  • Having a singular focus can limit distractions and complications from ruining our goals, but you can’t be so rigid that you avoid change out of fear.
  • Setting guidelines as you make modifications can help mitigate fears and provide some rules to keep you on track.
  • Make sure your journey has some joy. It takes work to stay the course on your weight loss journey but that doesn’t mean it should be without an element of happiness. From choosing how you modify your eating to what exercise you do your program has to work for YOU.

Until next time Keep Moving Forward!

Like Sands Through the Hourglass…

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It’s Monday, June 19th 2017 and I’m on vacation with my family in Myrtle Beach South Carolina. My son and I are playing a round of golf (I suck) and my cell phone rings. On the other end of the phone is my mom and she’s calling to let me know that my dad is not doing well. The doctor has told her they might need to remove his leg. I can hear him in the background complaining and being loud but I can’t hear exactly what he’s saying.

By the time I receive this phone call my dad has been in a nursing home for almost a year. His decline has been slow and inevitable but his arrival at the nursing home was sudden and unceremonious. One day he and my mom went out to lunch, they came home and he simply couldn’t get out of the car. An ambulance was called and rolled up a short time later. The ambulance took him to the hospital where he stayed for a few days before being transferred to a rehab center where he stayed for a few weeks. After that he went to the nursing home. He simply went out for lunch one day and never went back home again.

He’s suffering from dementia and he’s been diabetic for over 20 years. The man sitting in a wheelchair in the small room in the little town nursing home is a shriveled husk of who he once was. The man in the nursing home is a cruel joke version of my dad.

In my memory my dad is a big and powerful person who wears suits, smells like pipe smoke, has a booming voice (he was a professional opera singer when he was young) and whose mere presence commands respect. While he navigates the world by keeping people on their heels, that gruff exterior hides a much softer side that very few get to see. He loves books and pens and his family, maybe in that order (just kidding).

This is my dad.


The version of my dad in the nursing home is scared, says over and over that he wants to go home and calls for my mom all day and night. There have been several times he’s become so agitated they’ve had to medicate him.

The last time I see him I give him a green shirt for Father’s Day that he will never wear. I give it to him a few days before the actual holiday because we’re leaving for vacation. I do remember that on this particular day my dad has a short moment of clarity (these happen every once in a while). While I’m sitting next to him he leans over and asks me in his real voice, “How are you doing?” I tell him how work is going and how the kids are doing. We talk for a few minutes, he thanks me for the shirt. I tell him happy Father’s Day, then the fog rolls back into his eyes. I give him a hug and head home to pack.

I have no idea that this is the last time I’ll see my Dad.

The next call I receive after the golf course call is also from my mom. It comes about 12 hours later, in the middle of the night. It’s Tuesday June 20th 2017. I remember my mom crying and simply saying, “Eric, he’s gone.” I recall hanging up the call and leaving the bedroom I was sleeping in to tell my wife what happened. She’s sleeping on the couch in the condo we’ve rented because my snoring is so loud it wakes her up. In a matter of minutes the whole family is mobilizing to pack things up for the 12 hour ride back to PA where funeral plans will get into full swing.

Why am I telling you this sad story?


The very first entries in this blog are from back in July of 2017, less than a month after my dad’s passing.

At the time my dad died I was close to hitting my top weight. I was 45 years old, on blood pressure and cholesterol pills, and I remember I could actually feel one of my tonsils when I swallowed, because there was so much fat around my neck that it was compressing my throat. I went to an ENT surgeon but he refused to do surgery to remove my tonsils because he said I was too big a bleeding risk. I slept poorly, and snored loudly. I probably had sleep apnea but when I went for sleep testing the little plugs wouldn’t stay stuck to me because I was sweating so much while sleeping.

But, the seeds of change were sewn at this time, even though they took over a year to germinate and grow. In re-reading those short 2017 posts I can see a version of me that knew he needed to change. I set up this blog and wrote those first 2 entries with the best intentions. I had grand plans to bring you all along on the journey. But that didn’t happen, at least not right away.

My dad’s death forced me to think about my life and I wanted it to have meaning. I was searching for some way to make a difference but I didn’t really know where to start. That version of me didn’t fully believe in himself and he could talk himself out of things; he believed he was too old to lose weight, his habits were too ingrained to be changed. Even seeing his future self sitting in that nursing home wasn’t enough to jar him to immediate and sustained action.

Looking Back…

1. I was certainly mourning my dad’s loss and looking for purpose.

2. I think I kind of believed the outcome was inevitable. Part of me just accepted that nothing I did was going to change things.

3. I was equally in denial that the way things turned out for my dad would be the way things turned out for me.

4. It all felt so big and I had so far to go. I had no idea what to do.

5. I felt that everything was temporary. I was already well into middle age, anything I did was only going to last so long before I was too old.

6. I had convinced myself that that best version of me only existed in the past. And thus the UsedToGuy was born.


Here’s the truth. Real change comes from within us and IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. No matter how many times you’ve tried and failed, no matter how much you weigh or how old you are, you can take small steps right now to make your life better. Don’t wait for some magical moment, sign from above, or the stars to align, do it now. It’s not lost on me that my first steps on this journey were just as unceremonious as the day my dad went out for lunch and never went home again.

I think about that last question my dad asked me a lot, “How are you doing?” The answer is; I’m doing the best I can. Some days are really good, some days are work, but I’ve come so far and I’m excited about what tomorrow brings. I’ve given myself a fair shot at avoiding becoming a guy sitting in a wheelchair in a nursing home. Even if that’s how it all ends up at least I went down fighting. I’m also excited to finally share this journey with you and I know my dad would be proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish. That’s good enough for me.

Until next time, Keep Moving Forward!