Even with all of the best planning, steadfast commitment and unbreakable will, life can start throwing you junk.
Take our little friend in this ‘awesome’ AI generated image. He could not have seen that ball coming (because it looks like it came from behind him). Nor could he have known it would be the size of a beachball–heck even the crowd, catcher (who has part of his mask growing out of his chin), and the umpire look stunned. I’m not exactly sure what AI gibberish is coming out of the batter’s mouth but I can imagine it’s some form of computer swearing.
We may not have giant baseballs thrown at our face every day but we do face challenges of all shapes and sizes. Sometimes the curveballs come from outside forces like work and family and sometimes they come from inside in the form of illness, anxiety, self-doubt etc. For me, not only did I regularly let those unavoidable stressors sabotage my weight loss efforts, but the anxiety and sense of being completely overwhelmed I regularly felt were very real contributors to my overeating in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle; you feel stressed, so you eat to ‘feel better,’ you gain weight so you feel like a failure which adds to the stress, so you eat to ‘feel better,’ and so the cycle goes. Add in daily challenges like, “Well I blew it at lunch I guess I’ll just start tomorrow.” Or the one I commonly used, “Today was really stressful. I ‘deserve’ those 4 pieces of pizza!” and you end with death by a thousand cuts.
One of the first mountains I had to climb was staying steady and on plan NO MATTER WHAT. This did not mean being perfect, far from it. What it meant was that even when life was difficult, and my focus was elsewhere, I doubled down on the basics and leaned into the plan. I didn’t get obsessed with outcomes, or winning and losing, instead I really dug in on the NOW. I could NOT control all the challenges of life, but I could control myself and my plan.
In fact, being able to focus on the small things within my control became a sort of safe place. Some of the darkest days (for all of us) were during the pandemic. The stress from all of the unknowns in the world along with just being at home with nowhere to go made sticking to the plan especially challenging. Adding to my external stresses, about three months into the pandemic the company I was working for did a major layoff which impacted me. Needless to say, dealing with all of that plus looking for a new job in the middle of a global pandemic would be enough to knock most plans off the rails–in past efforts that certainly would have been the end of things for me. This time though was different because I was learning to trust myself, to believe in the plan, which at this point was just tracking what I ate and sticking to my daily points total in WeightWatchers. Most importantly I was beginning to trust myself and value the progress I was making despite all odds.
Some key techinques I use to help manage the relentless curveballs life can throw our way:
- Focus on what you can control. Working your plan (whatever it may be) can actually turn into a safe haven from the chaos of life.
- When you go off track get back on track immediately. Blew your day at a work lunch? Adjust your dinner the best you can and just move on. The sooner to get back on track the more likely you are to stay on track.
- Don’t focus on lofty goals and super long-term planning. Taking on any large project (and losing significant weight is certainly that) can turn into a cause of stress. You are on a journey, not running a race. By working small and focusing on what you can control you’ll be surprised what you can achieve.
- Always be kind and forgiving to yourself. Things go wrong, mistakes happen, we can’t control the world around us but we can begin to silence that little voice that tells us we’re not good enough, don’t have what it takes and won’t achieve our goals. Learning to silence that negative voice with incremental victories (a good tracking day, a great workout, losing a pound or two) you can begin to retrain your brain and even see changes in other areas of your life .
Just a heads-up for anyone who has been following along and getting some value out of all this. I’m going to be publishing new posts every Monday and Thursday from now on. Typically the posts should show up around 8 AM Eastern time US. They’ll be cross-posted on FB and Medium.
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For those who find this whole reading thing a bit outdated, I’m also planning on recording a weekly podcast so stay-tuned for more info about that!